Whilst reading a book in the bath the other morning, I came across this lovely paragraph by the eternally quotable L.M. Montgomery:
“In a generation or two letters will be obsolete. Everyone will talk to absent friends the world over by radio. It will be nice; but something will be lost with letters. The world can’t eat its cake and have it, too. And none of these things really “save time.” They only fill it more breathlessly full.“
[Saturday December 16, 1922 — Volume 3, L.M. Montgomery Selected Journals]
Spot on, Maud! Spot on! Well, except the part about the radios, we call that the interwebs these days, my dear and lovely friend.
I sat down that morning to do a little letter writing to distant friends because I find the work relaxing and joyful, even when the news I share is dark or sad in nature. I’ve always been a letter writer as far back as I can remember. In grade one, I had a penpal in Moosomin, Saskatchewan and she never wrote me back but I wrote her religiously and zealously on a monthly basis for a full year. I remember one day her non-responses really miffed me and I wrote her a letter to tell her she was an awful penpal. After that, she finally wrote me a letter, it was the only one she ever wrote and shortly after, I admitted defeat and never wrote again. I guess some penpalships just don’t stick, and that’s fine. In real life, people fail to jive all the time! Why wouldn’t it be true of letter making as well?
Anyway, now I’m just rambling about my epistle failures of the past.
What I really wanted to share with you is the why of my love for letter writing. I like to make some moments of my life slow and sacred. For this reason, I am a bather (additionally and admittedly, I also have a gorgeous tub). It forces me to slow down and relax for a stint when I make a bath and get in it for a soak. Letter writing does the same thing for me, it causes me to slow down and invest myself in a moment before I get carried away by the tides of life again — that is to say, it is an activity that pleasantly locks me in a moment, it forces me to be present. I think a well written letter is a work of art and for the most part, a lost art. A letter is a long distance dialogue and should be viewed as a continuous conversation in my opinion. A well written letter should contain your own fresh life news, responses to the news that was shared with you by the correspondent as well as a fresh batch of questions or declarations that will incite further dialogue in future letters. Nothing is more drab than receiving a letter wherein a gal only discusses her own life and doesn’t give a girl anything to respond to in the way of opinions or general rebuttal. Trust me, you’ll find yourself scuffling about for something of interest to say when writing back. Besides, don’t you want to know more about your friend? Don’t you want to ask questions and discover each other? Which reminds me of another quote I read recently:
“So many people are shut up tight inside themselves like boxes, yet they would open up, unfolding quite wonderfully, if only you were interested in them.“
[Sylvia Plath]
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When it comes to a successful penpalship, I have a few suggestions for you, please feel free to contribute to my points in the comment section of this post, I’m sure you have wonderful ideas to add to this list:
1. Buy stationary that you love, or make your own, either way, write letters on paper that pleases you aesthetically. It makes the work a joy to sit down to and it makes the letter a joy to receive. My favorite places to find stationary are in gallery or museum stores, Etsy or TJ Maxx! I’ve also been known to write letters on leaves, birch bark, and other natural detritus! Just call me Jilly Crockett.
2. Set aside a time to write your letters so that it feels like a special time of sharing. I like to write letters in the morning at my kitchen island when the light is brilliant and new and my cup of tea or coffee is delightfully hot.
3. When responding to a friend by mail, keep their most recent letter on hand so that you can refer to it directly. This allows you to address any ongoing conversation in your previous correspondence as well as answer any questions that might have been asked. ***To be fair, my life is so disjunct here in the wintertime that I often misplace the letters that come my way or when I’m in the mood to write and am free to sit down for a stint, I don’t have the energy to go to my letter dresser and find the most recent piece of mail from my friend — I’m a much more artful letter writer in the summer months when life is a different sort of crazy. Sorry, to all my dearest penpals.***
4. Write letters to give, not to receive. Write letters to put a piece of joy and hope in the mailbox of a friend. Finding a handwritten letter in a mailbox is like discovering treasure. I often meet the mail carrier when I see him coming, eager to receive my mail, eager to chat with him and discuss the day with a lovely person. Letters bring light to my days and that’s a light I like to give to my friends and acquaintances in return.
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This week, I wrote eight letters. How about you?
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It’s Saturday. I just found myself yearning for a garden and a farmer’s market and perhaps freshly picked beets or carrots from the rows in the backyard. Spring is springing and it’s quite nice. I feel something gentle sprouting in my soul and I’m beginning to anticipate the summer months.
Be well, you beauties. Have a glorious weekend.
I love your intention. Slowing down and taking the time to really be present in your daily rituals–it is becoming a lost art. Your intention is an inspiration, my dear.
Thank you, my friend. xx
Jilly crockett, reading your posts always make me smile. Love this about the art of letter writing. I write a letter a week to my dad who is ninety. Seems ive got so much to say to him now, after all these years. When he writes back, i find out something new i had never known before. Its quite special, what we have now. I like to add a wax stamp of an owl to seal the envelope. Love to drip the wax!
Prairie,
LOVE that you write to your dad once a week — how beautiful is that? You know, when I get to sit down with my grandpa in Saskatoon, I hear all kinds of wonderful stories I never heard before. It’s wonderful getting to know him…I’m sure you agree.
WAX STAMPING AN OWL!!!
Aren’t you a genius?
Where did you get such a thing?
I used to write letters to my DH when we were still ‘seeing’ each other and mail them to him from across town ( sorta dorky!)…he never wrote back, so I suppose he was not a very good penpal, but he did let me know how much he loved them….
I too, make my letter writing sacred time….most often in the evening w. a glass of cabernet…unfortunately, because I like to make the practice a bit ritualistic, I put it off and off until I have a chunk of special time… I think this makes me only a ‘B+’ penpal because it takes me too long to get back to my friends….!…ha! ha!
I agree, there is nothing like real mail..it is a work of art!
He wasn’t a good penpal but I bet he really squeezed on you when you were in the same room together:)
I’m so glad you’re here today, my friend. I’ve felt a flood of warmth from you today and I’m thankful for it.
And long live the rituals!!! You’re all A+ in my heart and mind. Always. xx
I love your post so much ! I totaly agree with you. I love wrtiting to my friends and my grand-mother, actualy I writte her every week.
What I love in writing letters is that I have the feeling to share a moment with my penpals.
This week I wrote 5 letters 🙂
‘Atta girl!!!
Thanks for living the dream!
I wrote one letter this week. But she’s moving this weekend so I must redraft the envelope. I’m also seeing her on Monday. Should I just hand it to her? No! The mailbox is a better looking… male. Laughing at my own joke. Again.
Tip: Don’t worry about your penmanship if you really want to write. I tend to write too fast and begin with a beautiful letter and end with chicken scratch. This is futile. Your friend still wants the letter. Your friend still wants that male. Mail. Yes.
Kelly! MAIL THAT LETTER!!! 🙂 You should see what my handwriting looks like when I write in the bath. It gets very scrawly. Just awful! I always mail it regardless.
MAN! And I thought I was I was stretching paper limits by bringing a library book into the tub with me! You’re bringing paper and pen. Talk about “LIVING ON THE EDGE!” Thank you Steven Tyler.
GUFFAW!!!!!
Well. It is quite dangerous. I will admit that. And there may or may not be something creepy about receiving a letter that was written by a person in nothing but their birthday suit…
Unless it’s RW. I doubt he minds. Bow chicka wow wow!! Wait! This is a public place!
letter-writing is a sacred activity for me:
special pen.
favourite cards.
hand-picked postage stamps.
addressing the most recent letter from the sender.
adding my own recent history.
i don’t hear from too many people via post: this saddens me.
some peoples’ letters i keep forever: they are special in content and sentiment.
xx
“hand picked postage stamps”
So important.
I do this too!
xx
Thank you for your list. I love to send letter or other bits of mail to my friends. They almost never write back but I do it anyway. I’ve been wanting to write more but didn’t seem to know how to go about it (lost art indeed) so your list is just what I needed to organize myself. I always keep all the letters and postcards I get. I love to reread them (especially the postcards). For some reason the things I love the most are often the things that were most trivial at the time – the park my friend was sitting on when she wrote, what my sister ate for dinner last night, the flowers on my aunts table – I suppose they are snapshots and appeal to the photographer in me.
“I suppose they are snapshots and appeal to the photographer in me…”
I guess letters are a quick snapshot of life, aren’t they? Captured the way a photo is captured…what a beautiful thought.
Oh how I’ve gotten away from letter writing! I believe I shall crack open this box of stationary on my desk and put out a few letters… It’s been much too long since I’ve had contact with some of my family and a letter…they would just love.
Do! Please! And you’re right, your family would love it. 🙂 Thanks for being here.
Dear Jillian,
I’ve been reading and loving your blog for quite a long time but haven’t left a comment before. But this Sunday morning after reading your thoughts about the art of letter writing I decided to overcome my shyness and add one more thing to the list (that I discovered last summer) 🙂
DRAWING THE SURROUNDINGS OF THE LETTER WRITING PLACE FOR THE FRIEND. When sitting on a huge rock by the sea while wind arranged my hair and tried to blow my stationery to the deep blue sea, I wrote and sketched the lanscape for her and she liked it and I enjoyed the long spontaneous moment…
Sending spring wind and warm thoughts to your day,
saara -a friend of Lucy Maud too 🙂
Welcome here, fellow friend of Lucy Maud!
That makes us instant kindred.
I love that you draw the environment of where you write a letter! Does this make you seek out varying environments where you can write? In the summer months, I often drive up the mountain to camp in our VW bus and sit down in the evening with tea or a glass of wine to write a friend a letter under the Douglas fir stands. It’s so beautiful up there. I want to transport the peace and space to the friend I’m writing. In the future, I WILL draw where I’m sitting. What a magical idea!
Your letter writing place sounds so lovely! Mountains and the Douglas fir stands!
I’ve noticed that I need a certain quiet place of mind when writing letters or a journal. It feels so good to first wander in a forest and then find a hilltop where to sit and write… nature is probably the greatest inspiration of all (so often times my feet will take me there when it’s time to find some words).
In winter time though indoors become a writing place here in Finland but I’ve found some cosy cafes where people won’t mind me sitting there a looong time 😉
Drawing is one of the best things about letters, I should probably do it every time! I’m GLAD you liked the idea!
Beautiful, wonderful, peaceful, slow post! Thank you!
Yesterday I was thinkig about I have to live present more intensively, enjoy now, enjoy every single small details, because life goes on and tomorrow I don’t want to discover it passed and I just was waiting for THE MOMENT.
This is what I read in your post as well. To stop and meditate a letter, take a bath, cook, eat without hurry, take a walk with your dog…
I’m asking myself – how it was possible our parents had more time?…I remember my mom sewn for us, made jam an other conserves, we planted potatoe, we had a garden we took care of…and now we just don’t have time for anything…why life was more slowly?…Or are we who make it so stressed and frantic?
It was nice to know you are a letter writer..:) I was a letter writer and I had pen-pals as well :)…And I understand when you say “Finding a handwritten letter in a mailbox is like discovering treasure.” – it’s magic 🙂
I love this quote: “So many people are shut up tight inside themselves like boxes, yet they would open up, unfolding quite wonderfully, if only you were interested in them.“ This ia true! 🙂
Thank you and have a great sunday, Nothern princess!
xx
I think being in the moment is the key to living well.
When you live outside of the moment you’re in you feel gross things like STRESS and ANXIETY and WORRY — all so bad for the soul, body and mind.
I often wonder how my mum had time for everything as well! She is a nurse and went back to work when I started school with my sisters. She still kept a HUGE garden, preserved food, did so much sewing of house hold goods as well as clothing for my sisters and I….amazing.
xx
smashing post.
I wrote 4 letters this week, most overdue to ones written to me. One to a close friend whom I have written for 18 years; I can hardly believe it. I still have each one, and we have changed so much ~ our lives and our paths have shifted so much and I could probably trace the changes if I went back through them all. But I don’t ~ there’s too much to write about from the now!
I definitely write people a lot more than they write me back, (which used to bother me but, I guess I can’t make people write if it doesn’t flow for them, so now I write because I simply love to) it’s like a compulsion to write, to share, and to clarify what I think and what’s going on when that pen touches the paper (Crane’s, thick, leaf green). Half the time I come out of it gasping and feeling like a weight is lifted. Now they KNOW. They know it all! What a relief. 🙂
There is nothing like that shock of color, that familiar handwriting tucked in plump and waiting amongst the bills when the mailman comes.
xo brooke
Four letters!
Atta girl!
My letters this week past were very overdue as well. But now they’re flying towards their final destinations and that feels wonderful.
You’ve had a penpal for 18 years? That’s so great. I think the longest I’ve written a friend is a decade.
I know what you mean by “a compulsion to write, to share and to clarify…” — I feel that very same thing when I write letters to my best friends.
Thanks for being a letter writer, Brooke.
x
what a lovely post, jillian. letters are gifts that we love to give and receive. if we resurrect the art of letter writing perhaps our post offices can stay in business!
i also love to read books of letters from famous letter writing individuals. john steinbeck, vincent and theo van gogh, vanessa bell and so many others left extensive collections of letters that give us their “biography” so much more personally than what a researcher would write. it provides an intimate glance into their lives and lets us know them as their friends did. lovely.
I totally agree with you on two points here:
1. In part, I do write to keep our post offices open! Every stamp contributes to the cause!
2. I love reading collected letters as well. I sometimes feel the most at home with my self while I’m writing a letter, perhaps even more than when I journal. Letters are so intimate.
This was so insightful! By the way, I STILL teach my children cursive, for the intent of letter writing alone! 😀 xo
I LOVE that you teach your children cursive! Don’t they still teach it in the schools? If not, what a crying shame.
I still write in cursive, there’s nothing like it.
By the way, I’ve been writing our Amber for a decade now! How lucky am I?
xx
I really enjoy writing letters and had a few pen pals in grade school. I always found it interesting to learn about other people in far off places. These days the only person I write letters to is my grandmother, which is a fun way to stay in touch and I know she enjoys it greatly. I would love to find myself a new penal or two. Maybe I shall start the hunt soon.
That’s the trouble…it’s really hard to find people who like letter writing these days (though this comment section would disprove that statement). Bless you for writing your grandmum.
I too, find myself only writing to my grandmother these days. I’ve often thought about finding myself a new penpal but I haven’t begun the search; it somehow seems a more daunting prospect as an adult.
I love writing and receiving letters! I have, I think, every letter I’ve ever received (I am 52). I even have a lot of the little notes I wrote in church and passed to my friends. It makes me smile to read what we agonized over then (what ARE you wearing, etc.), how simple and yet moumental things could seem. But I think the best is when others cherish letters from the past and share them. A dear cousin of mine, who was much older than me (and was my mother’s favorite niece) died a few years ago, and her daughter sent to me all the letter she found that I had written, and most special, the letter my mother and cousin had written to each other. Letters my mother wrote talking about me as a baby – that is truly priceless to have.
As for living in the moment, after my husband died almost 10 years ago, I had “Be Here” tattooed on my wrist. I found myself either living in the past, when he was still here, or trying to rush the future, a future in which hopefully I would no longer be in pain. And I was totally missing the here and now. I have never regretted the tattoo as I still find it a helpful reminder.
What do you keep all your letters stored in? I have an actual three drawer dresser I put all of mine in, though they are FAR from organized. I’ve been thinking of taking the dresser with me in the Airstream when we move to Rob’s base this summer, it might be nice to organize my epistles in the summer evenings as the sun sets over the North Cascades.
I love looking back at the letters and journals I kept as a youngling. It is pretty precious. Actually, it helps me to cherish my identity…do you know what I mean?
Sounds like that tattoo is helping you walk the line. Good for you for knowing the exact reminder you would need for the rest of your life. 🙂
I have an old trunk that belonged to my aunt. I have it in my closet. When that runs over, who knows???? And yes, I know exactly what you mean about cherishing your identity.
You should buy an Airstream trailer to keep your letters in:) A regular old archive!!!
Don’t I wish!!!
Inspired by your post, I actually sat down and wrote two letters I had been meaning to write for a long time. One to a lady I knew at uni, and another to a friend who is working down in England. I like the idea of letters as conversations. I sometimes include little scraps from magazines, just to share what I’ve been reading or looking at, or to remind the receiver of something that we both shared. Does anyone else do that? And if so, what do you include?
🙂
I’m glad you sat down to write and I too send magazine clippings to friends quite regularly. For a while, I actually typed my letters on magazine pages…I include clippings of photographs of models that are wearing something my friend might wear…I send pressed leaves I collect while running, or just beautiful images that I think they will like.
This post serves as a reminder that our letter writing project SHOULD be turned into a work of art. Writing letters feels like the most gratifying self-care a girl could perform, and yet it’s entirely for the receiver. Very few things in life are this mutually beneficial.
I used to angst and obsess about organizing my received letters, but now I just place them as bookmarks or inside the shelves of my house and will randomly find one here or there and it’s like a gift all over again. I’m proud to achieve any level of randomness.
You included that Plath quote in your most recent letter, and I’ve been hearing it from my gut ever since.
I know!!! I know. Perhaps you should pop over to Winthrop this summer — bring all my letters and I’ll bring all of yours and we’ll just pour over them and see where it gets us.
I did include that quote. I knew it was meant for you. But then, the other day, I knew it was meant for everyone because it is wise and true.
Thanks for being here today, my friend. x
i love your post.I had pen pals growing up, and of course have saved all their letters. I also saved every card or letter my late Grandma mailed me growing up. now that she is in heaven its nice to look back at them. I tend to get discouraged with my letter writing, when no one will write me back, its so very sad. from the post here it sounds like a few of you ladies have the same issues, we should all swap addresses and get to know each other better.
how fun that would be to become a friend solely through corresponding through letters, it would be refreshing in this instant gratification era.
Here’s mine,
Jaccalyn Korv
p.o box 163
Lake Havasu city, az 86405
Hey Jacci!
Great idea.
I would head up an address swap but I wouldn’t get around to giving out all the addresses until next Christmas — I’m just too bogged down with buckets of other work here! Good luck finding someone to write to!
Ohh what fun… Letter writing is such a beautiful art and stirs the soul like words on a screen never can. I’m glad to hear there are many keeping it awake and alive… it certainly takes thought and effort, as most good things do!
I’ll join Jaccalyn,
I’ll send a letter with my address.
2 is all it takes to make a start!
beautifully written blog post.
I am not a writer, nor have i ever been but always wished I were. and the art of letterwriting has a romantic place in my heart too…. once again, an art that i’ve never been fortunate enough to possess. The magic and thrill of beautiful stationery and a slow enough lifestyle still holds it’s allure for me though, and I couldn’t agree more with Lucy Maud, she was a wise woman.
Thank you, dear lady.
You know, I think everyone can be a writer. Two things that help are:
1. Practice — write daily.
2. Reading lots of books (it increases your active vocabulary in a major way).
And I totally agree with you, Maud was a wise woman. Don’t you miss her? I’m so glad I have her journals.
that is a really beautiful photo of you writing at the window. do you take all these self portraits?
I do!
🙂
Thank you.
I adore letters! It was just today that something beautifully wonderful was waiting for me at home.. A short letter and a postcard from a very dear friend of mine <3 Made my heart swell. Just like reading your thoughts 😉
Piia,
Bless you sweets.
You are always so kind.
I’m glad you received mail today.
xx
a divine routine, passion, and skill.
I would be so lucky to be pen-pals with you! xoxo
LU! Let’s make that happen!
what a lovely post……i used to write letters all the time. and now it’s emails all the time. sometimes i think of the poetry i write as letters, though.
You should get back to it, it’s good for the heart and soul — yours and others. 🙂
Letter writing is one of my most favorite things. I love sending them. You and color. I’m telling you. Those envelopes are amazing. My staple is pale grey. You bring color into my life! And talking about LM – mmhmm. Good grief. check plus!
ZING!!!!!
🙂
Hey chickadee, pale grey is beautiful too. I switch back and forth between really peaceful colors or shades (ivory, light greys, pale yellows), and crazy color (magenta, cobalt, mustard).
Oooh. I do like to write letters, I always have, but as I read your post, I realize that I am not so good at including questions because I tend to assume that the letter-reader will not write me back. Experience has shown, and all .. I just write letters because I like writing them and I know people like getting them. But maybe if I did include questions, it would inspire a reply! I shall try it.
I love getting letters… so beautiful! I used to get letters from my friends from summer camp abroad, so sweet how children write. I don’t think I’ve written a proper letter since I was 11 myself… quite a while!
I should get on with finding a pen pal. Where to begin?
Wonderful post 🙂