Well good grief!
Thank God tomorrow is Friday, I’m running on fumes.
This week, I have hit the tip of my middle finger on my left hand with a hammer in the exact same place three times. Exactly. It hurts. It’s ugly (and my pointer finger has been hammer struck as well, as you can see — I’ve had prettier hands). Right now, I’ve just come in from the studio and I want nothing more than to mix myself a gin and tonic (extra lime) and lay down in bed with a movie (I don’t have enough energy to read), a dog and RW for the rest of the evening before giving myself over to sleep. You’re probably all saying, “Jillian, yes. Go ahead! Retire for the evening.” But here’s the thing, I don’t have a boss. I don’t have an associate boss. I don’t have a superior officer telling me when to lay down and when to get up again. I don’t have that!
Sometimes I give in, in moments like these, and I treat myself to an early turn in and I allow myself a bit of relaxation. Other times, I’m aware of the fact that I deserve a long hard day. I deserve to be exhausted. I deserve to drive myself to the brink and a little bit beyond. It’s good, sometimes, to work to the point of breaking and to feel a bit of discomfort — not stress — but exertion! I think it’s character building. Days like today, days when I push myself harder than I need to, are healthy for my self worth and prove that my motivation is still intact.
As I type, RW is sanding sections of the sub-floor in the un-bathroom. He’s beginning to lay hardwood in that room this evening (we’ve had to go to plan B when it comes to our flooring plan in this house, we originally hoped to restore the heart pine that makes the original flooring in the entire house but some of is it terribly damaged and so we’ve had to resort to the option of new flooring in the entire house…in the form of hardwood). He too is pushing himself this evening, working hard, working longer than he usually would. We’re slaves unto ourselves here, slaves unto each other, slaves unto you. Happy slaves. Fat slaves. Slaves chained happily and doggedly, neck and foot, to our work.
I’ve done so much metal forming in the past two days that when I raise a hammer, I can feel a heinous heat spread over my shoulder and up the right side of my neck. I roll my head, I try to keep things limber, but I’m seizing up, slowly, like the Tin Man in the rain.
The weekend comes, slowly and surely.
I find myself wishing it was a dark horse sprinting for the finish line.
Now, as I type, Mister Pinkerton has made a home of my lap and his fluff and engine are keeping me warm and happy. His breath smells like tuna. His eyes are the Atlantic.
I’m in a chatty mood but only because it keeps me from the chill and isolation of the studio. I’m feeling gregarious today and there’s no one around to banter with me. Why don’t you come over. Fill this void. We’ll make stove top popcorn and exclaim about the warmth of the weather.
I’m always lonely when there’s not a soul to be had.
And now I feel a potent melancholy coming over me.
It’s best I get back to work before my effort falls out of everything and I slump into rest.
Happy Thursday-almost-Friday,
JSL (because while I AM The Plume, I’ve felt a strong urge to just be myself lately)
x
PS Just while signing off, I could hear RW in the un-bathroom singing, at the top of his lungs, in falsetto, “Plumbelinaaaaaaaaaaaa Plumbelinnnnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaa……..”
I love him.
PSS I also love my puppy. So much. She’s more than I dreamed she would be x 3.14.
How I wish I was in Idaho, so I could pop over and enjoy that popcorn & help hush away the melancholy!
Also, selfishly, to play with the wee Plum. She must be contagious with her sweetness!
SO contagious!
CAUTION: Sweet Plum DEAD AHEAD
woman! I want to come over… My dream meeting-you date would include Ms. Kelly and Ms. Candace, too. Plummmmbeeeliinaaa, what a great tune 🙂
enough said…heading out right this instant from these here hills in so. cal to whip up some stove top popcorn sprinkled with brewers yeast and gobbled down with a swig of gin and tonic…i have limes comin out my ears from the harvest here in the country not far from the sea, will bring along enough for months to come…shall be right over my dearest, can I bring the dogs? oh they would frolick so with the likes of you all…enjoy your evening.;)
tatafornowlovely
Snail: Yes. That would be the optimum quatro. I agree. xx
Kelly: We already have 3 dogs. Anything more is considered pocket change. xx
Jillian, popcorn-munching (and puppy-shopping… as foretold in my dream) i wish those were in my cards this evening 🙂
some days i believe it takes a different kind of strength to let go of the expectations and "should do's." take a deep inhalation and let it go smoothly from your lungs. re-align your energy and focus.
you've got a lot of company here – i'm sure many wishing to be neighbors able to zoom over and visit *raises hand*
hope you have a blessed, and less finger-striking evening
xx Lynsey
I'm staring at the computer screen, trying to make sense of statistics after 11 hours of work and no end in sight…totally empathizing with your words and then the end : "more than I dreamed she would be x 3.14" TOTALLY cracked me up. Plum pi. Sounds delicious. (I'm still giggling — maybe it's just delirium…)
Ooh yes, hard work… good for the soul… good for us all <3
(But you make it look so effortless, m'lady ^_^)
Okay, as a pianist and writer I totally ache for your fingers…
And I will send a separate note about the new Plum (puppies are the BEST)…
And popcorn sounds just right…so does hard work…
But what slays me in this post, Jillian-who-is-being-herself, is that Cummins cup from which you are sipping!!!!!!!
Heeheeeheeeeeee!! A woman and her pickup….
(P.S. Doug bought a Dodge w/a Cummins diesel engine in 1997–still running strong–maybe I should get him a cup, too!)
Hugs from the subzero prairie–the winds blow from Saskatchewan tonight!
awwww…. i'd love to serve you up a good gin and tonic with one for me to join you with. i like your perspective on pushing for the character-building aspect. i'm pushing tonight as well, but right now that involves scrubbing the bathroom, which is not such a glamorous notion. makes me very aware that i HAVE a bathroom, however, so i'm grateful for that. sounds like you will too VERY SOON, and a most lovely one at that! you, RW, and furred and feathered company make a wonderful team!
sooo hoping that you didn't hammer your finger on those gorgeous turquoise babies i snaggled this afternoon…
CKDowns: For Christmas, in my stocking, RW supplied me with Cummins umbrella, travel coffee mug and sipping cup. I love my truck and now I represent it!!! Go to Cummins online and find some Cummins paraphernalia for Doug! STAT!
Janet: I totally hammered my finger for you:) But let's be honest, those earrings were well worth it:) xxxxxxxxxxxxx
My dear!!! I miss you too.
If only we could have a night together ever so often to catch up.
I would come over after work with a bread and cheese assortment and you would make me some fowl and we would gab over gin and laugh too loudly over wine and make brownies and smear the batter on RW's nose while he works and we annoy him with our giggling and then we would eat them with tea and watch a rom-com and cry super hard and then laugh at our crying whilst cuddling all your beasts. Then I'd go home happy and fat on the bounty of JSL.
You're my gal and I love you so.
crm
i know, i know… they truly are!! and i will love them all the more for it.
Ahhhhh, the shoulder pain from wielding a hammer for hours on end…the sign of a busy day in the studio, and many hours of hard work. Get thee to your favorite massage therapist, and enjoy…( I could volunteer my services but I live in the middle of the ocean 🙂 Hope your gin and tonic does the trick!
oh plume, i wish i lived next door and could hear your hammer all day (and possibly night) long and then knock on your door when its time for a rest and a chat and a good strong drink.
xo
Oh your poor fingers, but I guess so is the life of a gorgeous jewelry maker! I am developing a lovely knitting calus on my pointer finger from my wooden knitting needles and I adore the pain of hard work it reminds me of 🙂 Hope your weekend is amazing as you deserve it!
I hear somethin' sayin'
(Hooh! aah!) (hooh! aah!)
(Hooh! aah!) (hooh! aah!)
(Well, don't you know)
That's the sound of the men working on the chain ga-a-ang
I am singing for you too.
What is that tiny dot on your palm? I have a wee dot in the exact same spot…It just appeared.
A hot bath is needed…Drop your shoulders under the water…When will your bathtub be ready to hold (comfort) you?
Take care Jillian.
xo
A
I want to come watch you work so I can see how you do various things. Already from today's photos I've learned something! I'll bring the popcorn and later will pour G&T's with extra GIN as well as lime…now where are those hot springs?
Meanwhile, here's an empathic OW for the hammered digits.
x
😉
Triple OUCH!
You're too hard on yourself!
I rather balked at the amount of old soul earrings you're producing.
That amount of hammering in a short period is hard on the wrists too, especially if working sans ergonomic hard plastic, wrist cast thingy ( forget what they're called).
Forgive me, but I almost laughed as I read that you're testing your motivation level.
You're always one heck of a motivated Girlie Bird!!!
I do think having a strong work ethic is amazing and important to self-esteem but resting is underrated!!!!
I'd gladly sprint over to your house for hot popcorn and some China Cola!
Ever had coca cola made from herbs? It's good!
Sweet dreams
Lotsa love xo
Sometimes my boss is awesome:
sometimes she is a merciless nag and too tough on me;
I hope your boss is being nice to you, even as you work your long hours.
And by bosses I mean us.
Love you,
Allison
: ) weekend is almost here
Oh goodness.
I love you all.
Thanks so much for these comments! I'd have the most spectacular little home if you were all sitting in the kitchen with me popping popcorn and sipping G&Ts. Wouldn't that be a fantastic jamboree? You could all take turns holding Plum and Penelope. RW could entertain us with his handymanning.
Thanks for the finger blessings. They're feeling a bit better this morning.
And Crow. that wee dot on my hand is a little beauty mark I've had my entire life! I'm a very mole-y person and I have a couple on my hands that haven't managed to wear off yet.
Thanks for all your smooches.
You really know how to put the wind in my sail.
x
Oh Jillian-my-Shmillian,
Somedays I sit in the studio and find myself staring blankly out the windows in an easterly direction. After a moment or two, I realize I my feet are padding around on heartpine floors and a snout-cannoli is sleeping in my bed.
That to say, I miss you something fierce.
I doubt very much that anyone has prettier hands than the ones that do real work.
You know I am a licensed massage therapist, right? You could come over for a massage, followed by a hot bath or shower (your choice), and we could make stove top popcorn here. I have one of those hand crank models. (though I DO want to come over to meet your new little sweet pea. 🙂
Will, you're a very kind son of a pioneer. x
Pip!!! When can I schedule! I need some DEEP work done. I'll pay you to remove my kinks:) xx
Umbie: Miss you back, sister. x