For whatever reason, I was destined to wake with a heavy heart this morning.
There are a million wonderful things happening to me right now, but that small clattering handful of unrest in my life (it’s so steady, constant and undoing) managed to tug my heart strings down to earth, like gravity tugs at the soles of my shoes when I cross these great valleys and high places…
I put on the soft sweet of The Swell Season, out in the studio, and tried to work my way towards lightness. But the tears kept flowing, the frustrations kept fraking with my spirit (yes, Battlestar Galactica terminology there…), the growing pains kept aching, the realizations kept dawning and I just felt heavier and heavier, even with RW in the next room, packing and shipping jewels and discussing with me the myriad of heartaches I was feeling.
At some point, I looked up, and saw the message I wrote myself long ago. I wrote it and stuck it to the window in front of my main work bench.
I read it over and over, stared past that small piece of paper to the white of the mountains blended with sky in the great beyond, I let those words sink into my heart, saturate my bruised spirit, wipe the water from my eyes.
Flakes like Persian cats were descending and tangling themselves in the blue spruce and taxed perennials out in the garden and I just continued to sit.
Absorb.
Flow.
And I understood those wild little perfectly unique snowflakes and I stepped outside my studio door and realized that everything was going to be ok.
Everybody, everything is going to be ok.
And then I knew lightness.
Plum flapped her ears like the sweet and darling Dumbo she is.
The snow continued to fall.
And there was flight of being, wide wings, bird song
and that Still Small Voice.
I know we all wake up with heartache, sometimes for days and days at a time, but really, when it all comes down to it, everything is going to be ok. These burdens that weigh anchor in the depths of our souls are not ours to carry. I grew up and outside of mine today, reaching for the light like a tender shoot. I passed those burdens into the hands of the wind and watched them drift away like seeds in autumn. They’ll come back and take root once more, and when they do, I’ll open my hands again and cast them back into the breeze. They don’t own me. Not any more. Nor do they own you. Let them go.
Be light, my friends.
Be in the Light.
Be of the Light.
xx
Plume
Thank you.
Oh my goodness Plume you must have known I really needed to hear these words from someone else, I have been struggling with my jewelry making for a little moment lately but I am finally going forward and making some steps forward, I am back in the studio on the bench once again, creating making dreaming of designs in my head, hurrah and thank you so very much for being my inspiration. I love the pics they are so cute and cheeful!
Thank you a million times for sharing what we all go through at some point, I seem to be having these days more and more lately…but reading this post brought me back to knowing that you are right!!! I will be ok, and things will be as they are, this feeling will pass, and I will awake another day with a big smile instead of a heavy heart! And that note on the window…Brilliant! Gracias mamacita!
oops, forgot to sign into google, that last one was from me!
This was beautiful, and so timely too.
Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom my dear Jillian. I know whenever I visit your blog I will find something to inspire me, so thank you from the bottom of my heart for being you.
xoxoxoxoxo
M
thank you so much for this. you have been able tp put into words what i and so many cannot. beautiful. XX
bless you dear friend.
someone else told me EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK, just a little bit earlier today….
and it all will be.
love you xo
Isn't it amazing how quickly fracking ends up in your terminology?
I constantly use it in my head now (I don't think I'd dare say it out loud) and am amazed at how easily it flows into everything. 🙂
Perhaps it's the sign of a true nerd.
I could cry for how much I needed those words. I kid you not, when DW said "Enjoy the journey, honey"…my response was "F*ck the journey!". So…letting it flow. Letting it flow, like breath during yoga, like water through the canyons, like rain. Like wind. I can feel myself atop the hills in The Gorge, watching the sunset, feeling the breath of wind flow over and around me.
Thank you.
🙂
Oh. I feel this one!
Sometimes I'm too chicken to say so. And yet knowing that somehow I'll manage to untie the knots.
Your courage never ceases to amaze me; that you can put your experience out there and share it. Your words affirm and then I feel less weird! Ha!
I just know that your realm is a soft place to fall ! How nice is that?
xo
That was me all day yesterday Jillian – and at some point I stopped and said "stop forcing it and wait for life to flow again" and you know what? It did.
Sometimes we need to not work against what we are feeling, but embrace it so that we can move on!
xo
Jaime
ps- good golly that coat of yours is fabulous.
Oh boy – teary eyes over here. What I had discussed with my doc doesn't seem to be working for me. I sat on the floor and cried for a long time today. I haven't done that in 7 months. But I'm gonna come back to this post often and maybe I can get through this.
<3
Thank you for this post. This morning a friend told me when I told her my worries, "it is ok" and to my every "but…" she would say "it is ok". I told her, and I tell you, I wish you both could tiny-size yourselves and be in my head to battle the thoughts that scream "it will NOT be ok!"
So glad that you were able to overcome your heavy heart. You writing this post helps me overcome mine!
Thank you! I really needed this today. I found myself desperately unhappy and I am promising myself that I will take steps to change so that I can get to a place of light, even thought it will be HARD. You have given me courage!
you have no idea – thank you
Oh my, what beauty abounds. XXOO Sal
beautiful words, beautiful thoughts, beautiful pictures (flapping eared Plum & a dancing you make for spirit lifting joy!).
it always amazes me how beauty often is birthed from a heavy heart. without the heaviness, how do we know what lightness is?
and that yes, everything is going to be ok. i'm reminded of that around every heartache i breathe through.
thank you for sharing your words!
p.s. frak is such an appropriate word, don't you find?
I needed to read these words today, Plume- how did you know?
you are one beautiful woman.
xo,
A
Oh Jillian…the past few days on this end have been exactly what you've described…thank you for your words, words that always seem to come exactly when they are most needed.
<3
I'm glad you found your light, hey. The world could use more happiness x
Oh, I read your post just after I wrote my VERY first post for my new blog. Two sprouts must be better than one. And you are right, right, right as usual.
(I would love if you would read what I have written…the blog is still under constructrution and I'm a little nervous to be out in full view but here we go…
http://sandandstonestudio.blogspot.com/
Thanks for all the inspiration!
Oh, I read your post just after I wrote my VERY first post for my new blog. Two sprouts must be better than one. And you are right, right, right as usual.
(I would love if you would read what I have written…the blog is still under constructrution and I'm a little nervous to be out in full view but here we go…
http://sandandstonestudio.blogspot.com/
Thanks for all the inspiration!
Hear, Hear!
Much needed reminders,
-lulu
XOX
All I can say is that I needed this today more than ever….thank you, a timely reassurance fine Plume, for I am lifted and do believe that everything is going to be ok.
glad you sent your burdens away…not always easy xoxo
Muchas muchas love and thanks. Fly!
Don't you know you are a lightworker Jillian? And that you're on this planet at this time because you need to be just you and add your light to the world? So whenever you feel like this, just breathe and get the energy flowing and remember, all is well in the world and all is exactly as is should be. Whenever fear or doubt or worry come into your mind, just breathe and let it go, just breathe. Which is basically what you did – now don't forget! 🙂 Namaste!
I'm so happy you found your way back into the light 🙂 Its not an easy thing.
You are just lovely. xo.
Thank you, thank you thank you…I've been feeling critisized lately, all by myself listening to that voice in my head that tries to race me through my day and anchor me to my failures…and then I read this.
Different day and you're away, but I wanted to know that you helped. 😀
Much love,
Tracey
so beautiful and true… and i am glad that you read that meaningful note you had written to yourself… there is a natural soap company called indigo wild – if you are having an 'off' day you may not work with the soap – no imbuing it with negative energy…
just as with any practice, it gets easier and easier to catch oneself and redirect each time…
Oh man.
I love you all.
Thank you for taking a moment to leave me these comments — it's nice to know I'm not alone:)
Be well, friends!
xxxxxxxxx
God is there. Spring is near!
Love to you!~
Perfect song to lift your spirits! Please enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCvgXmg0m1g