It’s Sunday here.
A day of rest.
Frankly, I’ve been resting all week long, it’s been too hot to work, there is/are:
*the issue of a heat induced eczema flare up on all the fingers of my right hand (keeping me awake at night even though I’m sleeping with ice packs on my hands)
*the fact that by noon every day my studio feels like a furnace (and I’m not a Shadrach, Meshach or an Abednego — it’s scathing and rather killing in there)
*perhaps a sort of creative apathy here has me barely keeping my head above water, I can’t even sketch, lifting a pen to write or putting a camera to my face takes so much effort — I have these spurts of emotional expression dropping into metal but nothing I can sustain…
*a trio of dogs who insist on sleeping directly on top of my feet which is very sweet and snuggly but far too warm
*cold baths, too many to count, in the middle of the afternoon, every day
*long runs in the heat of the day (why do I push and punish myself like that?), dipping my head in the spring creeks along the way, up to six times over the course of nine miles — I have to run, there are so many things I need to distance myself from right now, the pace creates space…
*a forecast of thunderstorms — oh I pray, I pray!
*RW over in Oregon leaping out of planes into wildfires — remote and smokey, drifting about on up-air like a graceful jellyfish
*daydreams of the high country, snow capped Sawtooths, frigid mountain waters
*daydreams, I daydream so much these days, possible realities seem locked up in my mind and heart, I play them over and over, dusty pantomimes in my right brain that hold the promise of sparkle and gleam
*the slow and steady hunt for the perfect, gutted Airstream trailer
*the slow and steady hunt for the perfect, gutted Airstream trailer
__________________________________
I’m ready for winter. If it snowed tomorrow, I could die tragically young and happy.
I think of sitting in snowbanks, cheerfully brushed all over by ice wind and early nightfall.
Doesn’t that sound delightful?
Even turning pages of a book takes so much effort.
I feel stifled.
I am stifled.
I yearn for tundra.
Somewhere North of here, the snowshoe hares are thinking of turning white,
a squirrel is prideful about his caches of nutty debris,
a bear is fat on carrion and blueberries.
I’m drowsy with the rouge of heat.
This weather just won’t do.
___________________________________
Even in the heat, there is clarity:
I keep realizing, repeatedly, that some things are just plain ridiculous.
There’s no point in taking them seriously.
So I don’t.
_________________________________________
In the meanwhile, the parlor is the coolest place to be.
Rhubarb is chasing skittering seashells across the floor, the dogs are passed out on
area rugs and the breeze has picked up, billowing the curtains like spinnakers
and I realize the cool is coming
in the rain and lightning, in the turning glances of fall,
in the promise of snow, skis and short days.
We’re in the calm before the storm now with huge dark clouds looming and hinting at wrath above us. Let it rain.
Oh, let it rain.
x
* rhubarb is utterly gorgeous.
* your soul is utterly gorgeous and so are your legs.
* it's pouring cats and dogs here. Tail end of Hurrican I. all the way to Canada! It's cold ( you'd be happy) and the wind is fiercely powerful.
* your post had me laughing.
* xo
* p.s. sorry about the eczema! Not fun.
HA HA HA!!!!!
Glad you laughed!
It helps dissolve my melodrama:)
xx
As for the eczema — that's been a lifelong struggle, especially in the summer. I know how to ease it so it's all ok.
I'm gonna need to start running if that will help me attain those gorgeous legs. That said, I hear you, usually I like to stay happy about the weather I'm in but fall can't come fast enough this year. I dream of layering, maple trees, pumpkin flavored anything, walks in Central Park, journaling with my coat on outside, wearing a cute knitted hat! The hurricane rains only made me miss it more. I am however, adoring post-hurricane winds, the sound is beyond delightful. I hope it tussles up into better thoughts. xx!
PREACH! I wanna wallow in a drift already. WAAAAAA!
I may never get used to florid duh.
Rain is still weeks away here in the Bay Area. September & October are actually the best time to go to the beach. Each year I have a sad moment when I realize the rain is over for the season and a 5 month wait begins. We usually get our first real storm around the first of November, though we might get a little teaser or two in October and there's almost always one weird little subtropical sprinkle in the summer that breaks your heart with longing.
I'm ready for the long wet cool winter; woolies, acorns, the greening hills, my knitting, butternut squash soup, and I'm with S – pumpkin flavored anything!
Sending chillin' thoughts…
You beautiful girl! A walk-in cooler is just what you need for the melt of high summer….we have one at our family's produce farm and it is just divine DIVINE!! One can sprawl amongst bushels of green beans and perfumed cantaloupe and hold onto those magical daydreams, fruit of all kinds will arrive in the cool of Autumn mmmmmmcrispcoolnipofbriskgoodness
I have been missing your writings, so good to catch up.
alaska misses you: she is shedding her summerness to quickly don her autumn coat, preparing for heavy white silence.
xx
[love the wee wispy cat jumping behind a screen of billowness….]
Hot! We know hot here in Texas. For some reason Mother Nature has decided bake us here. Drink lots of fluids and let your mind wonder. The creativity is simmering and will bubble forth soon when it cools.
Wow! We know hot here in Texas this summer. I think Mother Nature must have seen something happening that needed cooking off.
Drink lots of cool fluids, and let your mind drift a while….. Winter will be here in time.
I love how you allow yourself to revel in your darkness… too many people think a person must strive for lightness and joy at all times, which can make the darkness all the more frustrating. I say feel it, express it and ride it out like a wave!
Thank you for sharing your "realness" with us all. I love you all the more for it :^) Storms always pass, might as well indulge in them.
yup, tally me on multiple points. (including the eczema, which flares when i stress! so bad-boo)
tis the swing of season, yip-yip!
Haha! How did you EVER live in AZ?? I think if you visited right now you would get off the plane and immediately shrivel up like a raisin.
I hope you got your rain. Or a gust of frigid wind from the far north.
My dog insists on snuggling even in the heat of summer. I adore him, but when it's hot outside, I really wish I didn't have that second heater. I still think someone should have warned me about this.
A ten-day heatwave here broke just yesterday. During that time I had to organize for the movers (the day they came I felt way sorrier for them than myself). No one could sleep well; the dogs couldn't stop panting. The air quality was foul. With respect to serious things I have to do, I accomplished exactly squat.
Then came the glory of pure wild north wind. Windows and hearts and minds were flung wide open open open. Rain fell for hours.
I too am ready for ten years of winter. Oh aurora borealis, shine on me. I'll howl with the dogs in joy.
(In other words, re your eloquent post: my sentiments exactly. May north wind and rain sweep over all of you soon!)
x
no wonder you were not a desert dwelling flower! :)…..
yes, yes, don't take it seriously….just laze about like you are one of those plants that only bloom once every 20 years…and incubate something wonderful…
w/ a tall cool drink, of course!
xo
Rhubarb is exquisite. I want a brother of hers just like her. One more reason to come to Idaho. Oh, hey, btw, I'm flying back to the USA for good on 29 September!!!
x
Having just spent 2 months back in Ohio and SC, I can certainly agree with your situation……I am ready for dry Arizona and today I will be home!!! Noticed that you took an overnight last night and that was a good thing:O) Maybe when it is so hot you should try sitting in that beautiful tub of yours filled with cool water and bubbles……I will keep my eye out for the perfect Airstream, just the way you want it. Mine is holding up fine but will need a very good clean up after her journey of almost 7000 miles;o0 Love you and happy days. Sal
kitten sweetness fixes everything.
phew! i hope sleeping up in the high country helped cool your skin! ready for fall to sweep in and cool things off.
wishing you relief and comfort! x
-Lyns
Kitties in the MIst!
(also, I did not have an appropriate rap for this post but don't you fear, it will be coming)
i love that you wrote:
"I have to run, there are so many things I need to distance myself from right now, the pace creates space…"
this is exactly why i used to love running — there were so many things i needed to escape from at the time, and running was the perfect means to do so.
your writing makes me look forward to the rain, too — even though i'm a sunshine kind of girl =)
What a sweetheart kitty… I will wish for cold for you 🙂
{this post will be commented on via the snail}
Sending you tons of cyber love and wellness wishes right now too…
xo
oh my…i have the same affliction with my very own fingers…especially bad in high humidity/heat conditions…and at times when over-tired or stressed…sending love…and cortisone cream fumes;) lol