[while on Bainbridge Island last week]
Robert and I tend to live in the middle of nowhere. One of my favorite things about living in the middle of nowhere is the distance I feel from the tumult and chaos of the world. It’s just we, me, the dogs, the trees, the birds, the clatter of light reaching down from the heavens and star studded nights. One of the things I dislike most about living in the middle of nowhere, besides the scant availability and sky high price of organic quinoa, is the geographical gaps, the yawning spaces between me and my families, between me and my dearest and most best friends. They’re only a phone call away! I can communicate with them any old time I choose, but I rarely get to commune with them, face to face, heart to heart, soul to soul and that’s the very sort of closeness that wards off the sad pinch of lonesomeness.
———————————————————–
I was on a Daniel Day-Lewis kick this winter past and while watching Age of Innocence, I was struck by a short scene that went rather like this:
Newland Archer — “Aren’t you afraid of being alone?“
Countess Olenska — “No, as long as my friends keep me from being lonely.“
———————————————————-
SPOT ON!
My friends, near and far, no matter where they reside, guard me from lonesomeness and I them. I ache for my far-away friends at times, wish them near to me, dream of them at night. What was life like before these computers and telephones, when boys on ponies galloped the daily mail from place to place? Now we are blessed with high-speed, silent and spooling lines of connectivity reaching out across the atmosphere in all directions, and still, and yet, there is no substitute for presence and the belongingness that rings like a cheerful bell in shared spaces.
In the past two weeks, I have visited a best friend and stayed in her home just a short skip from the sea. I have also hosted two dear friends in my own home and treasured the effects of their combined energies on my very soul and spirit. This morning, I talked to another best friend by telly and I realized that simply having those kindreds in my life isn’t enough, I need to be with them, smoothed by them like the waves smooth the rocks where the water meets the land, I need to be in their presence, safe under their wings, where healing and and growth thrive. I love my friends. I love to have them in my life. I love even more to hold them close, wrap my arms around them, wipe away their tears and echo back the curves of their smiles. My friends have never been more important to me than now, in this very second, on this very day.
The good, rich love of my friends heals, amends, erases and makes up for all the times I have suffered unlove at the hands of women with hard hearts. The gracious and merciful fire of my friends melts the ice and keeps me soft of heart and supple of soul. I pray my tenacious love does the same for them.
[this week past, in the Methow Valley]
This morning, in the wake of my wonderful visits with my friends, I took time to do some writing on the sunset deck while the morning was still cool. I thought it important to write about all my best and dearest friends, list their strengths, the light I see them in, the light I see in them, the things that make them robust and wildly beautiful. One by one, I concocted the definitions I hold loosely in my heart for my precious friends and I can’t wait to watch those definitions swirl, change and grow as the years fly by. I love who they have been. I love who they are. I love who they are becoming. I love the flexibility that comes with the knowing of them and the being known by them. Because I love them, their transmogrifications are breathtaking, inspiring and affecting. Because they are strong and full of light, I am attracted to them and driven to them. I wish nothing more than to grow in grace and beauty with them, always, for the rest of my days. They bring redemption to my life. They bring calm to the storms.
What about you? Do you live, most often, without the immediate comfort and company of your best friends? How do you reach across the broadness of space and connect deeply and meaningfully, despite the distances? What are the strongest, most beautiful things about your very favorite people — what drives you to them and tethers your heart to the bright of their souls? What do you value most about your best friends? Loyalty? Steadfastness? A sense of humor?
I look forward to reading what you have to share on this topic — don’t be shy!
Now the day is hot and I’m going to run to the lake for a swim and then sit in the shade beneath a kind tree while I do some sketching. Be well you little beauties! Bright shine your souls.
x
:::Post Scriptus:::
I am currently reading this book. Have you read it? It is written so magnificently, is rich with truths about human nature and the rhythm of the writing has really crept under my skin and crawled into my heart — I can practically hear the voice of John Ames as I read it. It’s purely wonderful in every way.
yes: i long for the presence of a dear friend.
she is Godly beyond anyone i know.
her lilting speech and hah-ha laughter lift my spirit.
i accept her as she is: she supports me as i am.
she wants to know the warts of my history.
i pray to know her when she is 56 and i am 82.
for now: letters and cyber chats must suffice.
[i just snagged that book at the library….]
Yes. Those must suffice:)
You’re going to love the book. LOVE IT.
It’s such a peaceful read, funny too.
xx
I was just thinking to myself today, as I was walking down the city street that was filled with chaos….. what my soul needs is some mendin’…. being physically enveloped by a friend would do just that.
SENDING YOU A HUGE ***HUG*** FROM AFAR!
X
I spend a good deal of time alone, it’s largely part of who I am, and even larger what makes me *me.* I haven’t sat for tea or lunch with any of my very few friends since about February. I think it’s important to spend time with self, I think time alone, even (or especially) when it makes you uncomfortable, is when you are faced with the person that is most you, demon or divine. And I think, when faced with that self, that it is much easier to recognize where you need work, growth, support, a shoulder.
I love my precious few friends because they are strong, hard working women, and we allow each other our faults, but allow, support, and cheer each other’s growth. Time with them seems just a continuum of where we left off, never a catch-up sort of game.
I agree with you on why you think it’s important to spend time alone — I think I do it for the same reason. When I’m alone I can really hold a mirror up and look deeper into self.
I also love those effortless sorts of friends, “pick up where you left off” friends. My dearest friends are JUST like that. When I see them, we don’t need to break the ice, or warm up the conversation. We just leap right in to life with each other and it’s like they never left my side. We simply carry on, like we always have.
And hugs, my friends give excellent hugs.
AH!!!
I wanna hug you someday.
🙂
xx
I would like that. For now, sending you a mental one!
I love Gilead. I’m rereading it right now, actually – what a coincidence! Its accompanying book, Home, which is also about Ames, but more about his friend and his children Glory and Jack, is one of my favorite books of all time.
Esme! Was it you who suggested it to me? I think it may have been Jen. Either way, I am really, deeply enjoying it. I’ll pick up a copy of Home when I’m next around books. Thanks for your testimony as to the richness of the writing in Gilead!
I swear, jillian…your posts can be so in tune with my thoughts, it’s scary! I’ve been scribbling away about this very subject and all the acts of “unlove” by women who scar. Which then timids my desire to befriend woman in general! (isn’t that awful!?) As I grow in age, I find myself needing that sisterly bond more and more….golly, It’s SO important! The couple dear gals in my life are far from me, how I wish them close! le sigh.
I think we could be fine friends, just sayin’ 🙂
much love to you, dear woman!
-lu
It’s wonderful! I’m glad to hear that you’ve been scribbling on the same topic in your journaling work.
You know, about acts of *unlove* — I want to be sure to not feign innocence in that realm. I know I’ve hurt others in the past, and it’s a good thing to remember when holding on to hurt, that I too have hurt others. It sheds a bit of light onto the cycles of forgiveness we’re all tumbling through, all the time. Doesn’t it?
Drawing back from giving love and receiving love, because of those past experiences IS a really awful thing. I’ve felt the same thing and withdrawn myself from relationships for the same reasons in the past but something has really changed in me these past couple of years. I don’t want to give up on people any more, even if it means I’m going to have my heart crushed again in the future in the exact same way. It might be stupidity, or it might not, but I don’t want to be guilty of QUITTING on my friends. Not now. Not ever. Because I don’t want them to quit on me when I’m fighting my battles and sometimes going down with the ship. I need them to be there to offer me a bit of soul CPR when it’s most needed. That’s just the honest truth.
I want to be there for them. No matter what. Even if every time I give, my giving is rejected. When the storms subside, I want them to be able to turn to me and say, “Wow. You. You never left my side.” And I want to be able to say the same of them. So I’ve changed the way I love, I’m trying to make my acts of love unconditional, pure, just like how God loves me.
It’s a lot of high risk work at times, but I think it’s worth it.
I think we’d be fine friends too — and I think, to a certain degree, we are. 🙂
XX
I
LOVED
THIS
POST
really…it could have been me writing it
friends have always been an essential part of my existence…they were part of saving my life
as I have gotten older I am more refined in my art of choosing friends…those I invite into my inner circle
these women are precious, unique, individual, diverse….
I look to the soul, I find truth of relationship in connection
some connections run deep, others graze the surface but are equally as important for my growth and development
sometime when I think of all the great women I have in my life, it can literally bring me to tears, I feel so blessed and gratitude bursts my seams
I value my alone time, but I also need that balance of others in my life….
I also have found blogging a way to connect further with women
it has opened a whole other world of likemindedness and soul connection
it reminds me how much we truly are all alike and as women how we serve each other better when we stand together instead of against
thank you for sharing your heart here today
this was beautiful and inspiring
and reminded me of this greatness of friendship
I say to you….I love your soul
love and light
Cat!
I could have written THIS:
“as I have gotten older I am more refined in my art of choosing friends…those I invite into my inner circle
these women are precious, unique, individual, diverse….”
Maybe this is, in part, the exact reason why it’s getting easier and easier to NOT give up on my friends, not ever — because I’m choosing high quality gals. Just a thought….
And I also agree with you, no matter the depth of friendship, I too think they are all important, unique and purposeful.
I also loved this blip you wrote: “…it reminds me how much we truly are all alike and as women how we serve each other better when we stand together instead of against.”
That’s a spoonful of TRUTH.
Thanks for being here, you beauty.
XX
Beautiful post.
Friendship is so important and yet I find I’ve given my heart away to female “friends” only to have it thrown back at me torn to shreds. I’ve shed buckets of tears over these women who have trampled my spirit – I’ve cried for them for I truly loved them and wished (and still wish) only for them to find goodness. I’ve cried for me from the pain of loss and the sadness caused by their cruel ways.
It has been this way with every female (outside of family) I’ve allowed close to me since childhood. So I stopped building those friendships. The last one imploded last fall and I knew I was done. I must be really bad at picking female friends and male friends, although a ton of fun and adventuresome, are just not the same.
I now have a lot of female acquaintances who are fun and engaging but we go no farther. Quick visits, a girls night, etc… but my dreams and desires, my secrets and plans, my wishes and promises stay unshared with girlfriends. My dear husband fills the void and does a quite spectacular job…. I am so blessed.
I hope, someday, I can trust a few female friends again. Until then I’m true-girlfriend-less.
Hey Jennifer! You sound like you’ve suffered a lot of heartbreak. You aren’t the only one who has had friendships draw to a close, take heart in that. You never can tell who is going to stick around forever and who isn’t. Human junk can always find a way to tear down bridges and build up walls.
Don’t stop being open to friendship though! The right gals will find their way to you. I’m so glad your husband fills the void. He must be a wonderful man!
Thanks for being here.
xx
Thanks J – I read my post after I submitted and thought “golly that sounds awfully negative!” I didn’t mean for it to but it sure came out that way.
My intention was to point out that when / if you find those true friends it’s really something special….
Have a blessed day!
No worries babe. I got your drift. X
Oh dear, I miss my dear friend Meg. Now,right now, I must call her, thank you for this post and your words, I do also love your soul.
I hope you had a BEAUTIFUL chat on the telly. 🙂
I’ve been a lurker far too long. I can no longer stay silent. Your words are magic. They speak to my soul. I wanna be like you when I grow up. Free, light as a feather, and full of life. I thank you, deeply.
HA HA HA!!!
Thanks for un-lurking yourself and welcome here, OFFICIALLY!
You are very kind.
I’m a work in progress.
Bless your sweet soul.
XX
i adore the way women share. the things they choose to share. the raw beauty of it all. i was always waiting to meet a kindred..another almost me. but those i encounter(ed) and connect(ed) with were the hearts of women more diverse than i could have imagined and yet the light was there are we learn(ed) from each other and grew together.
i moved away from home twelve years ago and am in contact with no one i knew in my younger years. my relationships seem to be transitional and mostly that is ok with me, but there are times i long so hard for someone who has known me through it all. who has witnessed me grow from then to now. someone to share old memories and heartbreaks and love songs with.
but i am a little hermit. i enjoy my solitude and because of that i am to blame. still, i am forever open to learn from the hearts of women i meet on my journey and appear to find more kindreds via these electronically ethereal internets..!
AH HA!!!
Well! Let me tell you about a disorder I have suffered from ever since I first read Anne Of Green Gables. I call it *KINDRED SPIRIT SYNDROME*. I was desperate for a single, best friend kindred spirit up until I was about 24 years old. I thought she had to be just like ***ME*** for us to be kindred spirits — for us to match souls. Isn’t that ridiculous? Anne and Diana were very different people and they soul matched beautifully…I wonder why I thought what I thought? Anyway, I wanted, so badly, to name one girl as my forever number one best friend and then one day, I realized, that I had a small collection of best girlfriends, all of whom were nothing like me and we matched and melded effortlessly as kindreds. And there wasn’t just one, there were a few, and it was/IS awesome.
It was so strange that I wanted to be best friends with somebody like MYSELF for so many years. I must add here, that most of the women I have taken on as friends who are very similar to me in various tastes and spirit have been friendships that didn’t last long or didn’t run very deep.
I must be finally bored with myself. HA HA!
Anyway, this is all to say, VIVA DIVERSITY! I have some similarities with some of my friends, but at this point, we come from different faiths, creeds, upbringings and span the full spectrum of age. We are all SUCH different people and yet, we’ve managed to stitch ourselves together so effortlessly. I love it that way. But it makes me wonder how many friendships I have missed out on over the years, when I was looking for the right thing in all the wrong places.
Thanks for sharing!
X
Jillian!
You always just blow my heart right away. I feel so grateful to know you, to have shared space with you, to know be able and honoured to read these words. SUCH a beautiful and inspiring post. I hope this is a forecast for some quality time together come September! Since moving to Nelson, my heart and life seemed to shatter, and it’s because of a very small but steadfast group of women that I found the strength to put the pieces back together. We meet once a week and have a circle where we share our joys, our pains, our struggles. We talk about what we are calling in, what we are letting go of, and what we are grateful for. I have never before more sincerely felt such gratitude for the open hearts of my warm and generous friends. My stomach stirs and my heart breaks when I think of the distance between us. Can you imagine being neighbours and sharing our daily lives together! I guess we were blessed with a similar closeness before and I’d hate to get too greedy! I think the universe is trying to share you with as many people as possible. Your list making has me inspired to do the same. I will also suggest it to my girlfriends next circle. I can’t wait to sit with pen and paper in hand, and have nothing else to think about but Jillian Lukiwski. I can’t wait to tell you what i come up with too. That reflection can change a whole life. I’m certain of it. Love you!
My Girl Bree,
I love it when you leave comments here. I’m so glad you’re mine and I am yours. REALLY looking forward to popping by on my trip home this fall. I’m dreaming about it at night sometimes, actually.
Moving is really difficult. No matter how long you have lived in a place, no matter how long or short, your roots will find dirt and begin to sink down. That tearing up of life and crossing territories is always hard, to a certain degree. I’m glad you’ve found a circle of women to be with and I hope some of them become very dear to you.
Love you.
SOON!
xx
Resonance…that is the word that usually comes to mind for me..I also live far from those I consider my ‘besties’ and I don’t know what I would do w/o the electronic pulse that make long distance connection possible…I know what you mean about real-life meetings too though….there is no replacement for being in the live presence of one of them. Yes, steadfastness, humor, loyalty ( the kind where they love you enough to gently show you where you might have steered wrong) all this, but more than anything its having some sort of common inner compass that no matter the huge differences in the lives we may be living ( work, kids, geography, age, yada yada yah!) we resound together like a gorgeous etude, flexing and flowing back and forth, in unison , in harmony, with deep enough love ( and a commitment to the truth) to harmonize discord…..friends who can hold that container for your highest, most light filled self for you, even when you cannot hold or fill it yourself….that, and a capacity for good dose of kickass laughter are everything to me….:)
<3
🙂 hug!
Kerin! As always, wonderful insight. I agree that RESONANCE is a perfect word to describe the holiness of friendship. I love it! Really like this bit you wrote:
“…with deep enough love ( and a commitment to the truth) to harmonize discord…”
Spot on.
Thanks for being here!
X
Wow, J, you lit the match with this post! It helps me to know that we struggle with 1. loneliness, 2. The distance between us and those we hold dear. (I always think that I alone suffer…, sigh)
Thanks!
YOU AREN’T THE ONLY ONE!!! Not at all.
🙂
XX
Ah, another beautiful post! I’ve been thinking a lot about the same subject lately. Summertime brings that out for some reason. I moved away from everyone I knew in Jan. 2011. It was an incredibly isolating experience because I am shy and slow to make friends. What hurt too was the lack of reciprocating on the people I left behind, despite my efforts to keep in touch. It took me a long time to get over the people I held as friends, who seemed to have forgotten me once I no longer lived in close proximity to them.
On a positive note, there are a few dear dear friends of mine who DO keep in touch. Some of them I’ve known for longer than a decade now. At times we have lived half a world apart. Their love and loyalty, esp in comparison with those who have hurt me, means even more to me now then ever. I love that we can pick up exactly where we left off. I love the natural ease and comfort between us. I cherish them so much. I get to see a dear soul-brother in two short weeks and I absolutely can’t wait!
Keely,
I think some people are good at being close proximity friends and others are good at being far away friends and some are capable of both. Sorry that the ones you left behind aren’t so good at the long distance thing. It happens. And I’m glad to hear that you have a batch of wonderful friends who ARE good at keeping in touch.
I hope you have a beautiful visit with your guy friend!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
X
You are so right! Some people aren’t good at the long distance thing…I realize now that they don’t do it on purpose. I take things too personally sometimes (trying to get better about that).
The friends that aren’t good at long distance communication are still dear to me, and it’s a treasure when I get to see them. Thank you for the gentle reminder, and again for sharing your insights. It’s been a pleasure to read through all the comments on here and discover all the nuggets of truth throughout : )
<3 I knew you were having such a fabulous time so far this summer with everyone…
Summer is already half over! I’ve been so busy, flitting about, working when I can and want to, relaxing, unknotting….it’s been really good. X
Your writing is so breath taking.
Yes, I yearn for the companionship of my sister in laws who live far away. And yes, my sister-in-laws. I love them dearly and only see them once a year or less. We e-mail, facebook and call, but hearing their foot falls or just the sound of their nearness is a soothing balm.
I am fortunate to see my closest friends weekly and my parents even more so. But they do not fill the gap that is left by E and L. (L does have a husband and two wonderful kids who I miss also….. but there is something about E & L being my same age that connects us more)
!!!
I love that you are close to your sisters-in-laws! That’s wonderful! Robert has four sisters and I just call them sisters and drop the “in-law” part of things. I love them all and really love spending time with them.
Sounds like you have a wonderful net of friends that you get to see on a regular basis! That’s beautiful.
Thanks for being here!
Jillian, this post pokes at some areas that I’ve been thinking about recently. I realized recently that I no longer fully enjoyed time spent with a long-time friend. A best friend. And there were newer friends who I was much more drawn to. It took me a long time to realize that time with this friend was emotionally draining, and it was so saddening to me. At first, I decided to limit the time with her, but the words of another friend of mine came back to me that what merit is there in being friends with people who are easy to be friends with? So now, when I visit with her I go with the determination to be a blessing to her and to provide grace to her, instead of expecting it to come to me.
Your question though, what qualities do I value in a friend… tenderness and generosity, I think. Towards me, of course, but more importantly, towards people in general. I feel safe with someone who treats others with tenderness and generosity. I am blessed to know a couple of very dear women who embody this type of friendship.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!
I love your approach to this friendship. I think *LOVE* is, on some core level, about serving others. You’re really serving this friend in a way that blesses her. Who knows what she is going through to make her demand so much of your energy, but it’s so good of you to stick by her and love her through it. I think that changing a perspective can change the feel of an experience. Do you still leave her feeling drained, after changing your perspective on the energy exchange in this relationship? Just curious.
I think when we wear a cloak of heartfelt servitude we somehow manage to better meet the energy requirements of the relationships around us…and not suffer for it.
I agree with you on the qualities you value in your friends and I agree, I respect a friend who shows steady character with everyone they come in contact with, not just me. If they are generous to me, I hope they are generous to all. If they are patient with me, I hope they are patient to all. And so on and so forth.
Thanks so much for sharing here.
No, when I able to identify that she is pulling on me, and I make that decision to just provide love, I come away feeling very different; tired, perhaps, but satisfied, like after a hot afternoon of digging in the garden.
It is good to think and talk about these things. Thank you.
Awesome.
I think you’re doing it the right way.
Thanks for being so inspiring. You’re good at love.
I have not read that book but read the earlier one.
So very true your statements…something special about friends, and even more special when your spouse is your friend, and then something special about your unspouse friends of the same gender…I like them intelligent, honest, incredible quirky humor, incredible quirky humor, spontaneous, unaffiliated, unopinionated…I could write an essay but there is no time. I am happy that you are in the cradle of loving arms and hearts…sending you love wherever you are J! I am in a big city and not loving it at this moment. : )
Oh no.
Big city.
I cringe.
I don’t do well in big cities. I get awful headaches and feel a need to sleep ten hours a night. It’s terrible.
Sending endurance your way!!!
And love too.
X
I have always lived very close to my friends, but that is looking to change soon, as we are planning on moving to Maine. It is still only 2.5 hours away, and accessible, but to Rhode Islanders, that is quite a distance! The one thing putting a damper on the move is leaving friends and family behind. And you are correct… nothing compares to face to face.
Get-togethers will be a carefully planned thing, rather than spontaneous, but more cherished because of that, I think.
Good news, 2.5 hours is really not too far in the grand scheme of things! If you wake up early on a Saturday morning and hit the road quick, you can spend an entire day in the arms of your friends before you zip home and spend the night in your own bed:)
I think you’ll find a way to make it work. There will be an adjustment period at first, of course, but you’ll settle into the rhythm of it with no problem.
i live far from my friends and family, rarely get to see them. we rely on emails and skypes and texts to keep in touch. i’ve longed to find a friend, a kindred spirit, here but it hasn’t happened and these things can’t be forced or they’ll go all wonky and wrong.
this is a lovely post on something i’ve struggled with for some time now, have found difficult to put in words and yet, you’ve done it beautifully. thank you.
ps: loved gilead!
“these things can’t be forced or they’ll go all wonky and wrong.”
I know what you mean. I have felt so desperate for friends when we have lived remotely, that I have pushed things unnaturally fast. I think I also tend to be more intense than people are used to, in general. It can scare some away! That said, one of my best friends and I met for the first time at a coffee shop, by chance, on the Colorado River some years ago. Within ten minutes I had asked her one hundred questions and we had plans to BBQ on the river that night. She wasn’t scared off by my intensity and to this day, she’s one of my best friends.
This is all to say that sometimes, I can just 100% be myself and it doesn’t freak EVERYONE out! 🙂
I hope you find a kindred, nearby, soon. She’ll bring so much light to your life.
WOW!
There are such rich, beautiful, honest responses here.
I’m going to re-read everything later this evening and make my own responses to your responses when I’m finished work for the day. Just hang on!
Golly, thanks to you all for being here.
More soon!
xx
Oh Plumey, you’ve done it again. Got all us girls talkin’ about what’s important in the world. First of all, I know we’ve never met, but I see the light IN you. You are wild and beautiful and a huge influence. You are a friend to me. One of my best friends who lives in the desert southwest, we simultaneously write each other letters, on the same day, and recieve them at the same time! It’s so strange, and so cool! I gues you could call that connected, yah? We meet up once a year, in some artsy town, or birding cottage, and it’s soul soothing. Easy and chatty and quiet times all rolled into one. I can’t live without girlfriends or coffee.
Sweet Prairie,
You are so kind. Thank you so much.
I do the very same thing with some of my besties — write or give simultaneously…or send something by mail that arrives at the perfect time. It’s pure magic.
Having just left my hub of community and close friends of 9 years I’m feelin’ ya here! Luckily I live only 4 hours away from most of the people i call dear to my heart and i get to see them about once a month, and watch their hearts and children grow. And there are a few where i live too. A generous few is all i need really.
A while back i changed my idea of what a soul mate is to one of encompassing anyone along my path that my soul felt gently tethered too. And there are many. I am lucky.
And yes it is an interesting time when we might find ourselves being deeply understood by someone we’ve never met, simply by reading their words upon a page, or screen rather.
What’s important to me is that my friends make me feel loved… for who I am, who ever that might be, in this moment. Hmmm and that they are honest and shine their own truth, what ever it may be.
p.s. come visit me anytime dear sugar plum friend! There are rivers and shorelines and forests to explore!
xoxo
A generous few is all I need too.
I’ll always choose quality over quantity.
I love your new definition of soul mate. It makes sense to me.
The very same thing is important to me as well, to be loved, as I change, as I grow — to be given that space. I try to love my friends the same way which is why I often tell them this: I love who you were. I love who you are. I love who you’re going to be.
I’m trying to get up to see you in mid-august sometime! HANG ON!!!
XX
Yes yes, come, but let me know when. I’ve got a bunch of things planned already. things get booked up here in the brief but brilliant summers!
Oh and I heard on a talk the other day that we are what we love, not what loves us. That way we can let go of who does or doesn’t love (or approve) of us and be what we love – ’cause we love the good ones!
TELL ME ABOUT IT!
I’m overbooked here. Again. It seems to happen every summer.
But I’m going to try to sneak up to where you are sometime in August…I think.
Thanks again, to you all, for sharing your thoughts here.
Jillian, your insight, thoughtfulness (always ruminating!), and ability to share with us is such a special gift. Thank you for all your words, ideas and love!
Karen!
Thank you for being here and for being so kind.
X
This post speaks to me. I too am an artist living out in the woods and it’s tough keeping the balance right with solitude and good deep friendships. Most of my closest friends live in other states, and that’s just how it goes. It makes for nice visits but I really do miss that special satisfactory wonderfulness that comes from days with amazing girlfriends and long catch-up chats. The phone is great but just not the same! A great friend of mine is visiting next week and I can’t wait for her arrival. Setting up the guest room, making plans, looking forward to that deep connecting breath. 🙂
I love the very same thing about having friends come to stay — readying their rooms for them, picking flowers for vases, folding fresh towels for the bathroom…
I hope you have a tremendous visit with your great friend! I hope her presence chases away all the gloom and leaves you feeling bright, blessed and fully cherished.
XX
Well goodness me, 60 comments later to assure you of the love you’ve given and received…but I still must say how I cherish the Jillian-shaped space in my innards. It’s spazzy and warm and the kindest. Last September seems like forever ago.
When can you come meet Bowie?
Spazzy indeed!
I’m going to meet Bowie soon.
Don’t you worry about it.
X
So beautiful.
Yup. That’s all I wanna say.
xx
I love being alone. I almost never get to be alone. Living in NYC there are a million people rubbing elbows with you. Even in the country where I am now the neighbors drop by or call daily. I don’t think I’d want to be alone for a LONG time but a couple days here and there are like gifts to me.
I love being alone too. I spend most of my time alone.
But I really love being with my best friends more than being alone.
As an introvert, it’s a sort of sociality I feel ENERGIZED by.
nothing beats the face to face soul connection, but when those kindred spirits live miles & states away i remember absence makes the heart grow fonder and know that our next encounter will be that much sweeter. in the meantime laughter (a perhaps a few tears) on the telly get us through (as well as my dreaming and anticipating of our annual lake campout. i have such a good imagination it’s almost like it starts before it does. almost.)