What is it about some weeks? I just spent the past three days tending to life maintenance and experiencing what my friends have been calling very-rotten-no-good-bad-luck. Mostly everything is sorted out now, except for my camera lens replacement, which is in need of replacement because my camera was blown off a cliff shortly after I took the above image.
Alright, so the crap hit the fan here this week, but let me tell you what, I managed to soldier through all the sordid life details, fix what needed fixing (except the irrigation, I’m still tinkering with that, and the broken law mower), run a small business like a son of a gun, work in the studio with such a thankful and happy heart and I fed myself, great, summery, robust meals. The problems of this week were meltdown inducing but I don’t remember crying or being self indulgent enough to freak out and wallow in crisis. I simply gritted my teeth, worked from dawn until dusk and beyond, every night, and slowly the ship began to right itself. Though I felt terribly overwhelmed, I didn’t feel angered by my circumstances or self-pitying; my focus was not on myself, it was shooting off in fifty different directions. Stuff happens and you have to find a way to make the most of it, iron out all the wrinkles and build momentum again. The sooner you do these three things, the sooner you get your groove back.
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Last night I ran a cutie pie fifteen mile trail run that was truly the very definition of magnificence. I chugged that run so smoothly, dropping into low gear as I traveled, step by step, miles and miles straight up the West bench. I was joyful as I ran, seeing deeper into the landscape as I went, feeling the air thin as I climbed. I ran through the curves in endless switchbacks, tall grass brushing at my legs and hands, the dogs romping about with glee while tripping on their tongues, the cool of the scrub maple stands, the quiet of the aspen groves, the good company of the stately douglas fir and the views, the views were life altering. I came down the same way I went up, creeping around switchbacks, scuttling over volcanic rock rubble, sun on my shoulders, empty water bottle in my waist belt, sweat drying in the wind. I ran myself hollow and then step by step was filled up with only the very best Creation has to offer. It was that kind of run, marked with the wildness that is restored when a human is reduced by the land and sky, made humble, made empty and so, transformed and filled to brimming once more.
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It has been lovely to be at home, here in Idaho, in my little farm house, gardening in my spaces, harvesting the fruits and vegetables of my yard, hanging out with my girlfriends, reacquainting myself with my trails and my mountains. After arriving home from New Mexico, the very second I sat down in the studio and picked up my jewelers saw I felt stabilized, energized, brimming with impetus, forceful and calm. It is with a morsel of regret that I am packing a bag for a trip to Wyoming today, but only a very tiny morsel of regret. I travel, once more, to be with friends and my younger sister, to a state that is a stalwart sibling of Idaho and magnificent, to boot. You’ll not hear any complaining from me!
The road is calling and I must go!
Until we meet again, be well.
X
i had to do a math equation before i left a comment…5-?=2…it could be 3…it could be
5+(-3)….yeah, that sunset…what?…makes me wanna ride a motorcycle real fast with no helmet like they do in New Hampshire because they have the best state motto…”live free or die”
That IS the best state motto! However, riding without a helmet is really hard on the ears…just saying…but it looks cool.
Forest Fire Smoke + Sunset = Magnificent
*hugs*
xx
*xoxo*
xxx
Sending good vibes your way Jillian! Thank you for this beautiful post 🙂
Thanks, Chloe!
Whoa, sister! So you were able to recover the camera? Was it still working? I must admit, that would hurt. xx
My camera body is fine but I lost my lens.
Oh my goddess, what a BEAUTIFUL photo of the sky/sun/setting!!! I love when you write about running— I just dive right in. I am a runner, too, and have a very different experience because I’m in SF, but I manage to get some Nature Time by running along the estuary at Crissy Field to see all the birds and if the tide is in or out. Golden Gate Park is good, too, with its peregrine falcons and the ever squawking ravens!
Oh man…running…there’s nothing like it. It’s such an excellent way to travel.
forrest gump: “it happens.”
bumper sticker guy: “what, shit?”
forrest gump: “sometimes.”
you’re my hero.
but i think you knew that already.
LOVE YOU.
HA HA!!!
Exactly!
XX
Jillian, I can’t even begin to tell you how inspiring your words are for me today. Somehow the part about your wonderful run is in perfect balance to the part about the bad stuff, and all of it is very much alive and strong.
My favourite quote is :
I ran myself hollow and then step by step was filled up with only the very best Creation has to offer. It was that kind of run, marked with the wildness that is restored when a human is reduced by the land and sky, made humble, made empty and so, transformed and filled to brimming once more.”
Also, I do believe you are an antelope in a parallel life.
Bravo et merci,
Emmanuelle
x
E,
You know, I run to be free and to detox my spirit…if that makes sense. That run WAS the perfect way to offset all the junk of this week.
I love the antelope so thanks for mentioning them here. 🙂
X
I love your self-congratulations. Exactly appropriate. I would only hope to feel the same after a week like that.
I don’t always feel this way after a bad week but I really met the disasters this one held head on…I couldn’t afford not to.
Always love to see you here, L.
X
Your positivity is amazing – I admire you for pushing through and not complaining. I too am feeling very overwhelmed and doing my best not to complain, but that doesn’t mean I can see the other side. I suspect it’s because I don’t have a groove to get back. Anyway! Glorious photos as usual, and hope that camera lens gets sorted; that is no bueno.
SUPER no bueno.
Find the silver lining baby!!!
X
This was exactly what I needed to read tonight. As always, thank you for writing and sharing with such honesty and clarity of spirit.
Always my gritty pleasure, cuz.
LOVE having you here, Zipper. 🙂
X
Safe travels Jillian, I can’t wait to see the beautiful images
I can’t wait to TAKE those images for you! Thanks, Lynsey!
Oh…it feels good to know that someone has been struggling hard with life “stuff” too, for some unknown reason, right now, it seems (for me I say) that everything goes wrong or in the opposite direction of where it should go, this evening something else and I am even wondering “Is this real?”, but yes it is…just trying to solves problems as they arrive one after the other…things are going to be good again i know, just a matter of time.
The sunset photos are gorgeous, the colors!!!! thank you!
My life is very normal. If you ever think it is flawless and effortless, you think very wrong!!! Ha ha! 🙂 Every week here needs a little conquering in one way or another. C’est la vie!
But wouldn’t everything be a bit of a bore if you didn’t have to grapple with life a little, from time to time?
XX
Oh yes, what a week you weathered. The first photo is so spectacular!!! Jewel-like. Such beautiful words. Always the highlight of my day.
All credit to creation with that sunset photo. It was such a spectacular night. I’m glad I went out and was able to catch the moment.
Oh, Jillian! SO sorry for your tough week, but happy that you weathered it well and with such grace. Have to agree – sometimes it just happens and it happens to be our turn – but what an amazing, glorious sunset you were gifted with in the end! Blessings on you, and give Wyoming a kiss for me!!!
Like you said, it happens!
I survived.
Everything is fine or on its way to being so.
I will smooch WY all over for you, baby!
X
Ha! You’re going to Cheyenne’s Frontier Days, aren’t you??!!
Rodeo? Country Band concert? Corn dogs & Fry Bread?
I hope you wear your coolest pair of cowboy boots and bring your most enthusiastic YAH-HOO!!
Have fun, babe, and wave as you drive by!
xx
Sure did head out to Cheyenne. It was fantastic. Whatta town.
Wore my best turquoise cowboy boots and picked up a new pair, too! 🙂 It was a great time. Thought of you constantly while over there…
XX
Enjoy the MAGIC my sister-friend
much love and light
Kisskiss.
I love the Wapiti rings-Amazing! I was up in Washington when they went on Etsy. Any chance they will come back?
I have five more coming.
Wait for them!
XX
I love all of your creations and this blog!! I often cannot wait to see more. 🙂 This week was tremendously hard on me too. I was assaulted by two kids I work with- really awful. But, you have to feel it, move through it, and keep keepin’ on. 15 miles in that beautiful country sounds like an amazing experience. One day, I might want to do that again. Keep running, lovely and know I am keeping you in the “light.” xo
What!!!???
AWFUL!
Wish I could take you with me, on fleet foot, up the mountain again some day. It’s just so good for the soul.
Thanks for holding me in the “light” this week. Love that. XX