Well, the first one of a kind piece finally rolled off the studio bench today since the move to Idaho for the winter. I think I’ve talked about it before, but yanking a studio up by the roots is tough business for me. I’m doing it twice a year right now because of Rob’s job and it’s hard on my soul, time consuming and I lose stuff every time I do it — tools, partly finished projects…you name it. There is always a handful of items I can never find ever again, they simply disappear into the ethers between Washington and Idaho. Setting a space up again is becoming grueling for me. Once my work space is set up, there’s also the spatial re-learning that can make me a little impatient.
It’s muscle memory, you know? The way your hands and body move between bench, anvil, vice, and all the other tools of the trade. You find a rhythm. You can reach for objects and tools without looking. It becomes like playing a twelve page sonatina by Beethoven by memory — your fingers and heart and senses just wind themselves up and then merrily tap away at things. I love getting back to that place again where I’m flowing in the studio and I’m almost there right now but it’s been a slog at times. The small victories come slowly. I just try to give myself a little grace along the way.
———————————————-
Things I currently find inspiring:
-birds (waterfowl, birds of prey, upland birds, song birds, flickers…you name it, I’m obsessing)
-the idea of rags turning into riches, or the old adage that one man’s trash is another man’s treasure
-Russian olive trees
-the image of a sleepy —- ——— ————– — — ———- (can’t share too much about this one yet because it’s going to be beautiful and I cannot unveil the image I have in my mind yet…I hope it turns out when I sit down to actually make it
-water and wind (what those currents feel like and thereby what they must look like to the unseeing eye)
-sage
-running, running fast and how to make myself run faster and stronger — I often imagine I am a jackrabbit running through the sagebrush with an owl at my 6 or a salmon swimming inches from the dark tunnel of a bear’s throat — I’m constantly thinking to myself, as I run, “Be faster. Be wilder. Be stronger.” and I try to run like I’m scared, like I’m surviving, I pin my ears back and lean into it, it feels glorious…
-cobalt blue, salmon, ochre
-the skills animals are naturally and instinctually equipped with (or taught by their parents)
-amethyst
-everything upland…everything
———————————————
Reading/Recently Read:
Desert Solitaire (Edward Abbey)
The Moon Pulled Up An Acre of Bass (Peter Kaminsky)
M Train (Patti Smith)
Never Broken (Jewel Kilcher)
Big Magic (Elizabeth Gilbert)
Station Eleven (Emily St. John Mandel)
Mary Oliver New and Selected Poems Vol. 1
MORE HEMINGWAY
Hearing:
First Aid Kit
Patti Smith
Bright Black Morning Light
Hey Rosetta!
Bob Dylan (Desire & Nashville Skyline)
Phantogram
Jewel (Spirit)
Atmosphere
Watching/Recent Viewings:
Song of the Sea (…watercolor animation about selkies!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!)
Dances With Wolves
Wolf Children
Point Break
Velvet (The era! The fashion!!! The subtitles…)
———————————————
I’ve been consciously practicing omission lately, with regards to writing.
“…you could omit anything if you knew that you omitted and the omitted part would strengthen the story and make people feel something more than they understood.” [Hemingway :: A Moveable Feast]
I mean it. Everything I’ve been writing lately has been hacked to bits before it’s been submitted. And I like it. But I think I’ve been practicing omission for a while, specifically with my decision to write less about jewelry designs when I present them to you — choosing instead to let you feel your own way about them instead of assigning obvious meaning and symbolism to the objects themselves.
What do you think of that?
——————————————-
What I jotted down yesterday:
The youngest sister is here and so eager to vacuum the floors which need cleaning daily because the claws of the high desert slip so easily through the ribs of the windows and doors and the dust rides in clinging tightly to my feet the way I used to dance with my father when I was very young and I always like to see her for her humor and because we are like two mice, one from the country and one from the city, but we still like to nibble at the same cheese.
——————————————–
The dogs and I are trying to start every morning with a quick river walk. I take a cup of tea or coffee with me and we see if we can find some pheasant feathers down on the river edge and we marvel at the trees and the coldness of the winter sun and we squint a little, too, and the quail are always bombing out of the thickets and the herons are doing their awkward calling to each other and the ducks fly over. I love a quiet morning walk, so much. The dogs are so much better behaved, too, throughout the day and my lungs feel scrubbed clean.
———————————————-
Lastly, I have to tell you about something crazy — I’d actually feel like a bad citizen if I didn’t share these details! I was made utterly ill by laundry detergent and literally gave up ten days of my life to an agonizing rash that covered 75% of my stomach and other random parts of my body (including one earlobe, one eyelid, and part of my ribcage…and almost my whole right arm and wrist). It was awful. My lymph system is totally shocked out, I mean, honestly, it derailed my life! The situation is still pretty awful but I’m slowly recovering from it and beginning to catch up on all the catching up I WAS doing when I came down with the rash.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re all like, “Huh? A rash? Please Jillian, let us spare our compassion and prayers for those with leukemia and scarlet fever.” Fine. But I’ve had broken bones and my share of physical ailments and my servings of suffering I have to tell you that this is one of the most difficult ailments I have endured in my lifetime for the plain fact that the agony of it caused my mind to unravel. I almost went crazy. I still haven’t really slept in about eight days. The rash looked like 3rd degree burns on some parts of my body. It still does, a bit. Lordy, it’s been terrible.
The last thing I will say about it is this: Please do not buy the lavender scented Kirkland brand eco laundry detergent from Costco. It has affected many, many folks in the same way (go read the reviews on the product on Costco.com if you’re struggling to take me seriously, you may have even had a similar experience, yourself). I don’t usually write about things like this but honestly, I’d feel awful if one of you or your kids came down with a similar, systemic rash. I’m utterly (and may very well be literally) scarred by the experience.
————————————-
XX
Wow, that is scary about the detergent! I’ve been using laundry berries (they grow in the mountains of Nepal or something) and they don’t leave residue or a scent or anything. You put them in a little drawstring bag and throw in with the clothes. They’re good for about a half dozen loads until they fall apart and you throw them in the compost.
I love love love your blog. I yearn to be so wild, but I love my Midwest city and my kids’ school and being near my work (I am a freelance musician so I have to be near the people I work with). We explore the wilderness when we can, little by little.
Susan
Susan, thanks for mentioning laundry berries! I’m going to try them. I actually never buy detergent like this stuff that made me sick but I was in Costco that day and kind of tired and hungry with 4 more big store stops to make before heading home to the river and Twin Falls traffic makes me crazy and I just kind of grabbed the first jug of detergent I saw in the detergent aisle! TRUST ME! It will take me a while to forgive myself for being so silly and thoughtless.
Thanks also, for being here. Keep on exploring!
X
Oh my – that little bangle there at the end made me catch my breath. Lovely work my lady!
🙂 XX
That’s a dandy for the first piece out of the new studio set up…truly. Sorry to hear about your rash. Discombobulations of the dermis are hell. I speak from experience and I empathize with your plight. Years ago I began to get very sensitive to synthetic fragrances and various detergents/soaps/lotions/etc. So I started mixing and making my own – not time consuming. The detergent I make has no fragrance….I line dry the laundry as much as possible…so what little scent they have is mostly of the clean, fresh outdoors. My ingredients are supposed to be less harsh to the environment (and me!). I’ve also heard of the soap nuts that Susan above made mention of. They contain a lot of saponins – which give them the soapy qualities. Good reviews from users. Something I may have to try. Walking alongside the river in the morning sounds awesome. I sooooo love running waters. There’s a tiny stream that runs across one corner of our property. Most of the time is is dry…but it’s running now and I feel so blessed to get experience it. Take Care Wild Woman.
The river is the best way to begin the day. The best.
XX
I just have to say, “discombobulations of the dermis,” is one of the best phrases I’ve heard in a long while!
Holy cats!
Firstly: We are reading/have read pretty much the same list at the moment! Have you heard the interview with Mary Oliver from “On Being”? She never does interviews. It’s great, you can find the podcast on Soundcloud if you haven’t heard it. There are many worthy interviews there. Also, I recently finished up “The Girl in Hyacinth Blue” by Susan Vreeland, and enjoyed it very much. You might like it too.
Secondly: That last photo- What a humdinger! It was such a surprise there, tacked on to the end. Jennifer and I had the same reaction, I think. “Woah.” I think that that is one piece which needs no words. I enjoy your writing, of course, but omission is not a bad thing sometimes, and there are other ways of communicating, communing.
Lastly: Aren’t sisters the best? I love your image of two different mice nibbling the same cheese. That’s totally how it is with my family too.
Hope you’re feeling better soon, and are faster, wilder, stronger, with each day.
Love and feathers- b
Oh baby. It’s a good book list!!! 🙂
I’ll try to find that Mary Oliver interview, thanks for mentioning it!
Sisters are great! Between Rob and I, we have six of them! The youngest (who is my age) from his side of the family was just here. I love her.
XX
Hee! My sister and I are so different, but we love a good cheese!! I love when you describe your running~ I’m a runner and my very favorite times have been when I felt like I was -flying-.
Your final pic of that beautiful creation is utterly lovely.
HA!!! Robert laughed aloud when he read that little cheese line. It’s so silly. But can’t you just imagine it? Sisters. Nibbling.
XX
You’ve found your groove in your work space. The amethyst and birds piece is a marvel and represents your wild days, running with your ears pinned back, flying with the feathered ones.
I’ve got two of the titles next to my bed. Jewels book, Unbroken (love all the pictures and her days in Homer!) and M Train. Now, here is someone who loves coffee more than I!
Thanks for the other books and tunes list. Always fun to research.
Howdy ho, Toby!
x
I’m slowing finding the groove. A friend just asked me in a letter if I have big studio plans and I told her, “I’m just letting the spirit lead and trying daily to notice what inspires me and try to immortalize those little inspirations as best I can with metal.”
I’m keeping it simple.
I know! M Train is pretty much all about coffee and visiting the graves of dead writers…but I loved it. I just love Patti.
And it wasn’t Toby here, it was Kat!!!
XX
I just finished reading “Never Broken” – very inspiring.
One of my favorite scents is the Russian Olive trees when they bloom!
Adds a lot of richness to Jewel’s lyrics doesn’t it?
And so brave of her to finally tell us all about her mum.
You’d probably love the scent of the poplar up North when they are just putting out their sticky buds. Beautiful.
X
Oh Jillian, guff! Sounds awful…hope you heal soon and rest fully! Besides that, Love love love “catching up” Miss reading your posts!
Much Love, Always!
Thanks Lu! X
that walk. every morning. a divine greeting of “good morning to the morning”….
Xx
A good stroll is good for the soul.
X
Oh, Jillian! I have re-discovered and fallen in love with Jewel all over again. I’m reading Never Broken and listening to Spirit too! It’s funny you read/are reading it as well, as you have come to mind as I have been reading. You and Jewel are both such beautiful souls and in some photos/videos even look similar. If you haven’t heard it, please listen to Sov Gott (Sleep Well). I believe it is from her lullabies CD but I came across it on YouTube. I have been listening to it before sleep each night. It is so calming and beautiful!
I am so sorry to hear of this horrible rash. I do hope that you will feel like yourself again soon and heal completely! What a thing to happen when all you did was wash your clothes.
I recently greatly enjoyed Wolf Winter by Cecilia Ekbäck. It takes place in the winter of 1717 in Swedish Lapland and the writing is SO beautifully descriptive. Thought you may enjoy it too, my fellow winter lover!
xo,
Kim
Kim,
I never liked Jewel!!! Ok. Rob was in love with her, and her music, when we first met in New Zealand when I was 19 and he was 21. I didn’t actually start listening to her music until I was about 29 — Rob gave me one of her albums in my Christmas stocking that year. Then I really fell in love with her lyrics and her voice and her country music albums! Anyway, I’m delighted by all her new endeavors. I think she’s tremendously talented. Thank you for the sweet things you have to say about her and I. 🙂
I’ll look into Wolf Winter! Thanks for mentioning it here.
XX
Gorgeous pictures!!
So many things to check out haha, I don’t know where to start! I’m always looking for new books to read, so I’ll definitely be checking those out 🙂
xx
Victoria Chronicles of a Mermaid
OH my goodness! THANK YOU for writing about how terrible the rashes are! I suffer from them all the time, and I too get lost in my brain, almost stir crazy. I have switched to only the unscented detergents for this exact reason. I have allergies and this fall has been particularily weird with them, 3-5 hives are present per week and sometimes I want to scratch my skin off. The itching hasn’t stopped for 4 weeks. Slowly I see it subsiding, alas I am allergic to claritan and the like. HA life’s little joke on me! Herbal remedies are helping but aren’t perfect…. nice long soaks in oatmeal baths are a must. Alas I wish I could work from the tub sometimes. lol
Take care! xo
AH RASHES SUCK!! Maggie has one. Because we are house sitting and she is not used to the luxury of so many baths. (Rocking Green Laundry detergent is our favourite- their lavender mint revival is glorious!)
I am amazed by the things animals have as well, instinct or taught- and have been so amazed by humans in the same way watching Maggie grow- I lost my mind when we were up in the high country berry picking and she picked. her. own. berries. at 9 months old. no one had ever shown her how, she wasn’t just picking up tundra and eating it, she was picking blueberries, very skillfully. We critters are AMAZING.
Thank you for the post- and gee whiz do I ever hope I catch your next shop update- that beauty at the bottom is a real looker!!
XOXOXO
(its skijoring season here- thinking of you and your fast ones as I yet again try to teach my house huskies to pull….)
PS SELKIES AND POINT BREAK OH MY! My ocean heart swelling!!
Oh I was away …coming back from a gorgeous trip in northern California so I hope your rash is better, almost if not, gone. Again a gorgeous post, gorgeous pictures, gorgeous jewelry gorgeous everything….except for the rash…darn…hope you are good for a Thanksgiving dinner!!!!
You make me pause on the inhale and melt into the exhale. Holy crap that necklace is gorgeous. Love your sweet greying GSP…melts my heart. Cobalt blue is your colour for sure, love your hair in a braid. Superb & divine words. xo
What a beautiful and serene post! (apart from your nasty rash, I’m sorry to hear that 🙁 and wish you a swift recovery)
Your writing is beautiful. It truly slows down time 🙂
I L O V E the film ‘Song of the sea’. it’s possibly one of my favourites right up there with Ponyo and the Labyrinth. The music and setting is enchanting, although I’m from Cornwall and not Ireland, our folklore is very similar and it makes me yearn for home and the ocean.
Thankyou for sharing an insight into your inspiring life 🙂
Love from South England
Sarah xxo | thesaltyseablog.blogspot.co.uk