I had a lonesome birthday this year. I dropped Robert off at the Santa Fe airport on the 12th and he flew out to Arkansas for early season work leaving me with a big truck full of dogs, guns and harvested quail (on dry ice) to drive home alone. I wish I could have lingered longer in the desert, camped, climbed out of the cold bed of the truck for more glowing sunsets, wandered, sketched, photographed and daydreamed…but work commitments had me busting my own butt to get home in time for everything that is coming my way in the month of March and April.
On the 13th, I drove the meager distance between Santa Fe and Durango. I stopped to wander a lovely patch of badlands with the dogs, feel the wind on my soulbones and move my body a bit while the pups got their poops out.
I met up with friends in Durango and shyly admitted, during the course of the evening, that it was my birthday (probably out of self-pity, most of all) and we had good food and laughed a lot and the company had wonderful warmth to it and I made a nest on the living room floor and slept well and deep before striking out on the highway again, on Valentine’s day.
How I drove that day, crossing Colorado, Utah and then Idaho. I drove like a wild pack of flying hammers zooming end over end on an unpredictable wind and made it home to the strawbale house on the river at nearly midnight. I was exhausted and hungry and like any time I’m away for two weeks, everything in the fridge had gone to rot so I drank a glass of water and carried Farley up the ladder to the loft and fell asleep with my arm around him.
New Mexico seems like a far away dream now and I already miss Robert terribly. What a beautiful winter we had! I’m just starting to comb through my images from the trip and look forward to telling you all about it.
I wish I had some kind of romantic and whimsical goals for this next year of my life but to be honest, I’m simply hoping to keep hanging on tight to the things I value most and love dearly. The people. The places. The honesty of earnest, hard work. The beauty of creating with my hands and heart. Appreciation for and full-seeing of the gifts that are continuously raining down on me every moment of every day.
But for the grace of God go I!
awww, gee….carrying farley up the ladder to the loft and falling asleep with him in your arms. now THAT is some kind of love, i tell ya….
you ARE loved.
don’t ever forget that.
Xx
Dangerous love.
Usually Rob does it…
Happy belated birthday! And I know those badlands well….they go straight to the soul.
x
True enough!
Happiest belated birthday to you… winter in the desert is amazing. Love reading your words. Holding true to your favorite things for your next year sounds perfect. xo
Thanks, toots!
My husband just had his first week of early season work in Arkansas. Your sentiments and experiences are shared. Thank you for putting them in to such beautiful words; it is comforting.
Keep the faith, sister!
Happy Birthday Jillian! Hope you didn’t make the other dogs jealous – and I hope this is your best year yet! 🙂
Katy
I tried to carry Tater up the ladder one night and it was a DISASTER.
Pene gets to come upstairs every now and again. 🙂
Happy Birthday…a little late…sorry…I wish you a fabulous personal year and hope that you will find a house with a studio space always ready for you and that you don’t have to move all the time. And welcome home!!!!
Oh man…am I ever wishing that very same thing.
XX
Happy Belated Birthday! I always go to your blog when I need a break from the ugly city life. Love your pictures of the beautiful land and it reminds me of quieter days when I would go hunting with my Dad and our bird dogs. Long gone are those times, I miss them. Solitude is something I desire. You are so lucky to live and be free in such beautiful surroundings.
You’ve got to get those times back!!! Sounds like heaven.
X
Happy Birthday Jillian! When this body naps next to/under/around a warm fur-baby in the twinkle-noised day’s solitude, I think, “THIS is what I want! I got what I wanted! The work and play is worthy of this amazing love-filled moment…” May you continue to recognize true love this year and the many more…
I know!!! It’s the greatest therapy…unconditional love.
X
Happy Belated Birthday! What a gorgeous winter you’ve had, and I wish you many glorious blessings for the seasons ahead.