Lemon Verbena

Today, between a visit to the chiropractor (same old problem of displaced ribs…yes…feeling better now thank you), an excursion for a bundle of packing tape, watching the dogs race around the dog park, photographing and listing new pieces, washing the dishes, seeing a house guest off and weeding the rose garden,
I stopped over at the nursery to pick up a new mint plant.

I already have a mint plant.  It’s Moroccan mint and it’s only half as potent as I’d like it to be.  In point of fact, I like it less than the wild mint that grows around beaver ponds or Northern bogs.  It’s good stuff but it’s somewhat less robust than a good and gangly chocolate mint plant growing in the back yard.  So I snaggled one of those for myself and while strolling away from the herb section at the nursery, I keeled over when I caught a whiff of something divine and when I figured out what it was that smelled so luscious, I brought it home as well:
It’s lemon verbena.
It smells like the wings of angels.
And I love it.
I will name it Millicent and concoct teas and potions with it
and together we will be two very happy things that belong to the green
and bow down to the ether.  Gladly.
I’ve been thinking, quite a lot, about why on earth I enjoy gardening so well.  Let’s face it, it’s hard work.  There’s always something to be thinned, weeded, watered, hoed, staked or harvested.  There are pests, deer, rock chucks, rabbits, bugs, Penelope and the chickens who will want to eat it first.  The sun tries to burn it up.  The wind tries to blow it all down.  The hail tries to bruise it to bits and pulverize it to smithereens.  Once you start a garden, it doesn’t end until it’s finished producing or the frosts come and slay it stealthily and quietly with icy fingers in the night under the light of the Big Dipper.  
Unless you live somewhere tropical, it all seems rather futile (excluding perennials).  Doesn’t it?
But then this evening, whilst sitting in the rose garden, watching the sun drop down, and moving with the motion of a quiet summer breeze I realized I garden because it feels good to be part of the growth of plants.  They need me and I need what they produce whether it’s food or beauty.  I crave it.  There’s a healthy and symbiotic relationship between my garden and I.  A give and take, for certain.

Plus, when things are really bolting and looking brilliant, here at The Gables, it’s so satisfying to sit on the front porch with a book and a cold drink in the dawdling evening light while listening to strangers comment on the beautiful and darling little home of mine as they walk past with their dogs.

Satisfying indeed.

So I guess what I’m saying is,
if you can,
whenever you want,
do come on by for lemon verbena, raspberry leaf and mint tea
in the evening sometime.
Penelope will delight in keeping your lap warm 
and we’ll delight in watching the sun swing West
before the sky opens up and the stars rain down.

xx

All in a Good Sunday

My dear friend Karen woke me up this morning.
Actually, I had been laying in bed, dozing on and off, for a couple of hours; cast in and out of sleep by birdsong and dappled sunlight.  Karen knocked on the front door and told me to come to her house for coffee and cake.  I agreed and then promptly gave her a garden tour whilst in my nightgown.
She has a lovely front veranda for sitting and sipping.  The coffee went down slow and easy and we made breakfast out of blueberry cheesecake while our dogs romped about in her backyard.  We discussed the weather, our perennials, our men and our dogs, among other things.
I spent the afternoon toiling in my yard.  It was sunny!  I cut flowers for vases.  I reacquainted myself with the lawnmower and whippersnipper.  I weeded, irrigated, watered, weeded again, moved the chicken ark, planted seeds and sniffed every single iris blossom I could find.  I stretched out in the grass with Penelope and Mister Pinkerton and took the time to feel the sun on my back.
After baking a loaf of banana bread, while waiting out a blustery storm, I walked the dogs through my side of town.  I picked more lilacs.  I watched the sky.
And when I returned home, I finished unpacking my bags and boxes from my recent whirlwind trip.  I dusted a bookshelf or two, arranged my pretty things on shelves and sat down to write this:


Journal Entry: June 6, 2010
The good news is there is no such thing as failure in art.  That is, there is no such thing as failure when I sit down to create as long as my work is truly an outpouring of what is inside me.  The goal is self expression.  The goal is the interpretation and translation of my personality, my emotions and the world around me.  Of course.  Of course I want the outcome to be aesthetically lovely but not all parts of me ARE lovely.  I am fallible.  I am human.  There is darkness here.  Some of my attempts will fall flat or be classified as ugly and there’s a truth to be found even in those attempts.  So why do I fear them?
Why do I fear the truth of them?
Why do I fear the darkness when there is so much sureness in the light and when I give voice to those voids, those terrors, those fears, are not they flooded with grace and understanding and light?  To even attempt to convey them in metal and stone is to take them out of their hiding places and turn them slowly in my hands, in the pureness of light.

The thing is, it’s ok.
It’s ok to fail, if failure means I make something that represents ugliness and brokenness.  Those are real things and if they pour out of me in a moment of despair, giving structure to THAT moment and those emotions is a very real thing.  The beauty in this creation is the illumination of fear.  The dissolution of fear. 
The courage it takes when facing my demons, calling those demons out by name, and watching them dismantle under the power of grace and truth.
There is only rejoicing here:
The thick and thin of exploration, self awareness, inspiration.
The process.
Those two loves I must give: for my neighbor, for my God.
The dissection of everything in between.
And the growth that comes with all of these things.
Always reaching.

I’ve been so comfortable these past few months.  
It’s time to push harder, to carve deeper, to break barriers and include 
past fragments in new forms, structures and concepts.  I’m up for the task, even if I’m down for the count.
_________________________________________________________ 

I’ve been so afraid, this week past.
Afraid to begin again.
Afraid of my studio space.
Afraid of my ideas.
But I’m not frightened anymore.
Even the darkness can amount to light.
If you’ve been afraid, call it by name, bring it forth, understand it and fling it into the light where it can be no more.

I hope you had beautiful weekends.
Thank you for your sweet congratulations for my darling smokejumper!
See you tomorrow.

xx
The Noisy Plume

The Packages Said They Would Be Black

I find, on certain occasions, that if I dress a particular way, I’ll feel my moods affected by my ensemble.  Today I dressed like a rainbow and went a little heavy on the teal.  The results were splendiferous.  I felt whipped up and out of my melancholy and flung into the great wide blue.
I also wore my favorite grey booties while taking a garden tour.
My grey booties always help.
They’re like CRM’s muffins.
The great thing about being out and about in the gloriousness of cultivation is that things seem to come into focus, or slide out of focus, or what have you.  In the case of today, a little bit of both happened.  I managed to grasp the evenness of clarity in the realm of certain perspectives and I let a few things slip away into the ether.

My grapevines are about to burst.
Other things are bursting: 
Like the tip of my favorite inky black pen.
The fruit bowl on my kitchen table.
And the tulip patches.
The packages said they would be black.
In all reality, they’re a moody sort of gloriously pompous purple.
The formality of these blossoms is mildly irksome, slightly intimidating and awfully get-out-the-china!  
The Queen is coming for tea!
This said, I don’t mind the false advertising.  Not in the least.  I’m quite pleased with this tulip patch.
I’ve cut a few for vases around the house
just to give the iris blooms I harvested yesterday a bit of competition.

The Here and Now:

I’ve been finding inspiration.

Popping up out of the earth.

The morning was damp with rain.
Overcast.
The wind whipped about in hobnailed boots.
But the afternoon has turned bright; rain clouds burned up under the eyes of the sun.
Everything with a heart of green is on the move again.

And I’ve been busy out in the studio for part of the day,
letting new ideas pop into bloom.

Singing in the sunshine as it pours through the window.

Waving my wings.
Tinkering about to Chopin and Jeff Buckley. Singing harmony to Fruit Bats, and more.
Tapping my feet and hammering to the beat.
Pressing my lips firmly together with each stroke of a file.

And now I’m going to go perch in the living room to read, write and watch the
sun go down over the mountains.

I think of you often, while I work.
Where did you find inspiration today?

Saturday Again

It really is.
I had a friend visit Plume Gables for a week and it seemed like the time flew past faster than I could blink. Amber is 8 months pregnant but it didn’t stop her from helping me out at the homestead. She must be from pioneer stock.

She harvested veggies for me, helped me can a surplus of jams and jellies. We zipped zucchinis through my food processor (sigh…love) and stocked my freezer with a heavenly host of food stores. I drove her to the airport yesterday morning at a truly ungodly hour and spent the rest of yesterday and today:
1. Cleaning.
2. Yardworking.
3. Answering emails and convos (still working on that).
4. Running around town buying groceries.
5. Realizing that there’s hardly anything as nice as buying really pretty bras for half the original price at Victoria’s Secret (actually, there are a LOT of things nicer than that, but in the moment, it felt quite nice).
6. Dealing with the harvest.
7. Trying to figure out what to do for RW’s 30th birthday on October 8th (I DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW IF HE’LL BE HOME FOR IT SINCE HIS CREW WAS SENT TO OREGON THIS WEEK). Any ideas?

As usual, everything has ripened all at once (including that plump, red Penelope). If you garden, I’m sure you’ll bear witness to the fact that September is a mad rush to deal with all the fruit, vegetables and other things that turn red, purple, green, orange or yellow all at once. I’m eating tomatoes faster than I thought humanly possible. I spent last night and this morning dealing with my beets:
Sort according to size.
Boil for a half hour.
Quench in cold water.
Skin should slough off easily.
Remove ends, chop, grate or slice
and freeze.

Of course, I made sure I made a COUPLE of treats for you last week. This is one of them:

At any rate, I need to take Farley up into the hills. There’s a thick cloak of smoke over Pocatello, Utah is burning and sending her grey air up to us on the tail of a brisk wind with a cackle and smirk (thanks Utah). I’m going to claw my way through it for 8 miles. Up into the spruce stands and through the aspen groves in their gentle yellow. I won’t stop to sneeze at the sage and as I cover ground, fast, the pheasant will burst out of the brittle grass at my feet and I won’t know time.
I hope your Saturday has been happily squandered
and if you’re dealing with your beets, you’re not the only one with purple hands!
Love,
Jillian Susan