I have commenced a list of wants.
My list is not comprised of expensive shoes, mid-century modern furniture or flouncy frocks (though those can all be very nice things). Instead, it is built of things I want for my self:
1. I want to be generous in my reception of other women. I don’t want them to close up in my presence like mussels on ocean rocks when the sea recedes. I want them to feel open in my presence. I don’t want to intimidate them with proud carriage or flaunting of confidence. I want to be gentle with them. I want to find them all beautiful.
2. I want to be able to hear what others are really saying. I want to listen past their words and hear the murmurs of their hearts.
3. I want to not feel desperate, ever, for any reason. I want to be consistently aware of potentials and possibilities, no matter the weather of my soul.
4. I want to always listen to the small but courageous voice that resides within the bramble of my ribcage — the voice that tells me what is right and what is wrong. I want to always act with that voice ringing in my bones. May I never fail to hear it. May I never fail to act on what I hear.
5. I want to be generous. I want to continue to give: myself, my time, my money — and not for accolades or to be noticed by the ever appraising public eye. I want my good deeds to pour from a pure heart. I want to give my best love in secret.
6. I want a horse. A horse will make me a better woman. Of this I am certain.
7. I want a piece of earth to tame and tend. Thousands of acres of the stuff. I want to cultivate it without chemicals. I want to listen to it, watch it grow and change with the seasons and years that pass. I want to understand the cycles bound to the dirt — cycles of wind, sky, rain, springshine and fallfreeze. I want my bones to tell me what weather is coming.
8. I want to offer complete support, encouragement and well wishes to all my creative sisters and brothers. When I give these things, I want that generosity rooted in altruism — I want to expect nothing in return and when I receive the same in return, I want to bow in thankfulness and count lifelong friends with a massive abacus.
9. I want to not take everything so hard, so often. It’s true. Sometimes there are enough tears here to last a lifetime. I want to recognize that sometimes, it really doesn’t have anything to do with me. My wings are whole, they have not been clipped.
10. I want to be slow to speak. Cautious with my words. Careful with my slogans. True to myself in all I say. I want my mouth to align with my heart. Clean heart. Clean mouth.
I reckon we simply do not have enough time here on earth to live without intention.
Making our selves better makes the world better.
I’m going to try to add one new idea to my list, every week, for the rest of my life.
I’m going to try to add one new idea to my list, every week, for the rest of my life.
How about you?
What do you want?