Bog Water Be Darned

[A reminder that all broken things, even we, have a purpose and a beautiful, divine destiny: sterling silver, 23 karat gold, jade & wild bird egg shell]

Did I tell you about the beautiful little nest RW found me, months ago, while we were up at Tiffany Lake with friends?  Well.  He found a beautiful little nest in the marsh there and said, “Jillian!  I have a present for you!”  He’s just so tremendous about bringing me dead things and bones and antlers and shards of remains that he finds when he’s out hunting or away on fires.  He knows I like to honor the remaining bits in some way or another and he knows that nothing tickles me more than a handful of feathers, baby animals or chicks in nests.  He’s a woodsman and is so talented at finding these very sorts of things.  As I was saying, he  called me over to where he was standing and told me to look around very closely.  So I did.  Within seconds my eyes had located the perfect little ground nest, in a tuft of raised grass, directly above the bog water my toes were sinking into (it was terribly cold bog water, my toes were so frozen they were itchy) and I screamed.  I couldn’t help it!  The nest held four beautiful little speckled eggs and they were utter perfection.  Perfection!  I couldn’t stand it!  I folded down to my knees — bog water be darned — to take a closer look and our friend’s dog promptly ran over and squashed the nest beneath her feet (oh woe was me, I nearly cried).  Two eggs survived.  Two eggs were destroyed.  I carefully collected what I could of the broken egg shells and said aloud, “I will do something with these.

And so, now I have.

In the cleft of the rock.

[sterling silver, geode slice, jade and 23 karat gold]

[sterling silver & geode slice]

Aren’t these beautiful?  I don’t mean that in a self-promoting way.  I just mean, when I look at these necklaces, I feel like I’m looking at beauty.  Unfettered, natural, raw beauty.  Like when I wake up  on some mornings and my lips are the perfect color (plump with sleep), my hair is gently waving, my eyes are dark and glimmering, I don’t need make up and I don’t notice what clothing I put on — I just step out of bed pretty, pink, feminine and beautiful.  I’m raw.  I’m real.  I’m me.  I guess that’s what I see in these necklaces.  I love that they lack a narrative, outside of the regular stuff behind the Lichen Series I’ve been working on (for months now — I can’t get away).  The beauty of them is free-standing.  The work alone is enough.  I want more of that.

——————————————————-

I feel like I’m traveling one thousand rivers, all at once.  The currents are zany, unpredictable, lemon scented.  The eddies are trout bearing  I am master and commander of my tiny ship.  Eventually I go to the sea.  As all things do.

—————————————-

Here, at the little cabin in the woods, I am in the cleft of the rock.  There’s a holding and freeness that bears a sort of forgiveness, or grace, with every sigh the fir trees let out in the swoop of the wind.  The light strains like violas in the early morning, cresting up through the gap, prickling night and setting the ponderosas alight.  I see directly East from the loft window which is broad in scope.  I watch each day descend into bright, every morning, from my little perch.  I am so glad to surrender to being here, in this lovely place, in my very self.  I often wonder what else there is to be, outside of gentleness to self and others.  I have consumed seven cups of tea today.  The mornings bring a chill.

—————————————————————

I don’t ever want to miss anything but there are distances I cannot cover with the thin spread of myself.  I suppose part of life is simply figuring out where to be and at what time.

—————————————

Did I mention RW is coming home tonight?  I can’t even really convey how glad it makes me.  He’ll be here, with me at the cabin, for at least one night.  A friend and I are making a taco feast and pitchers of margaritas for all the boys, over at the base mess hall, upon their return.  There’s going to be laughing and stories.  I’m looking forward to it.

Shhh. It’s starting.

[early this morning, in my woods]

It’s beginning now.  The woods seem to be breathing slower, winding down, the pulses of the trees are dimming.  The color and textures are delicate, less robust, descants weaving over the pools of sticks and pine duff on the forest floor.  I can smell a musty murk, a mighty morph, the rot of leaves on damp, just the edge of it, a prelude.

The quietude here, at times, is a thundering of the majestic.

All In One Place

Holy cats.  I’m all in once place.  Here’s how it happened:

RW came home for one day.  He asked me how long I wanted to stay in the Methow.  I yelled out, “Until the bitter end!”  Because I can be dramatic like that and I feel like I’m settled into work right now and am resistant to the idea of uprooting.   He looked around little cabin in the woods, chewed his fingernails for a moment, and  then called our friend in Idaho, who happens to be living in our house there, and told her she could keep it until November 1st.  Then he picked me up, put me in our truck, drove me down to the smokejumper base and helped me pack up the Airstream and move it all the way up the mountain (slowly, people, ever so slowly, with the trucked locked in low 4×4 all the way — and I should mention there was a chainsaw involved as well…).  Now, we’re all in one place and I’m rather relieved.  I did my best to be a good sport.  I’ve been a good sport all summer.  That said, RW could immediately see that our current setup was tough for me so he helped me do something about it.  I’m so thankful the Airstream is up on the mountain, where I am living.  Now I’m set up for a month and a half of success with work and life.  I even have a steady internet connection and I’ll begin chipping away at answering your notes.

He leaves tomorrow morning, again, bound to fly and probably jump fire near Mount Rainier.  I hate to see him go, but I love to watch him leave.  What I love, even more, is seeing the man he is turning into.  This was a sixteen day roll.  Tomorrow, he could be away for another two weeks.  Each time he returns, I think he’s grown a little more handsome, a little more wise, broader in knowledge and confidence, a little more beautiful and rugged in his soul.  These fires must be refiners fires…the best kind of fire there is.

More soon!


Today, my camera worked until it broke a sweat — I was desperate to make a beautiful photo, I guess.  These are a few pretty ones to celebrate this very quiet Tuesday!

https://www.thenoisyplume.com/blog/2012/09/11/5087/