When I filled the final page, I flipped back to the beginning of my journal, which is also my sketchbook, and the first page was dated April 22, 2016. Why did it take me so much longer than usual to fill this book? I used to run out of pages in six or eight months and I’ve been using this exact book for years. In that moment, I realized 2016 was when a prolonged life transition began for me and for whatever reason, to the detriment of my creative health, my writing was set on the backburner until now. It was with great joy that I found myself returning to pen and paper at the start of this year; sitting down almost every morning with strong intentions, a clear mind full of wide open thoughts and a general sense of ease regarding time. It’s that last part that’s the most difficult thing to achieve. Every morning I have that niggling feeling that I must hurry up and get the day started lest I squander my daylight hours and wind up a pauper in the achievement department. I push that thought away these days. I brew a cup of green tea. I sit down with my favorite pen. I write. I sketch. I glue in imagery from magazines and periodicals that caught my eye — photos, textures, fonts, color combinations…I build my inspiration bank, purge my heart and soul and concoct my dreams for the hours, the days, the years. It’s good to be back at it.
The upland season closed and as always, it’s bittersweet to see and feel the season pass. The dogs are unruly in the stillness. We’re finding new things to do with ourselves. Thankfully, the amount of work that needs to be done around the farm before the fire season begins develops exponentially, by the day! We’re ordering seeds, I’m working on landscape design for all THREE of my gardens (I still don’t have enough gardening space!!!), fencing the rest of the horse paddocks, building nesting boxes for the turkeys and ducks, designing an outdoor dog run for the pups, lining up a new farm boy to help me with the irrigation this summer (looks like it’s going to be the sweet Mennonite kids from the next farm over), researching trees for the continuation of the orchard overhaul…
In the midst of all of that, we had a sense of being on top of everything so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when Hubba Hubba, our exquisite phoenix rooster, perished of inexplicable and unascertainable reasons at nightfall yesterday. We’re both grieving that little dandy. He was a great rooster — gentle with the hens and protective of his flock. He’ll be missed and probably irreplaceable. But that’s life, isn’t it? Just when you’ve figured out the rhythm and everything feels like its running smoothly, you experience a setback — diminutive or monumental — so that the fabric of our lives is seismic in nature and constantly folding, unfolding, and fluttering about. We’ll have to hunt up a new rooster. I was looking forward to not caring for a bevy of little critters this spring but we might have to do another batch of chicks. Chicks are a lot of work, my friends. Last year I had baby ducks, turkeys, chickens and kittens and I could barely leave the property for a few months. I sigh aloud as I write this though, because chicks are such a delight. If I must chick, then I must chick and I will chick with joy!
I could not have chosen a better year to add a horse to my life. Since winter never really arrived at the farm this year we have been able to work with Resero or ride him almost every single day since October. What a miracle! He continues to settle in, his trust in us deepens and our bonds with him grow tighter with time and groundwork. He’s thriving here, we’re glad to say. Exploring the public lands that surround the farm while sitting on his back is one of the best parts of my days. Now that he’s here, we can’t imagine life without him. We thought having him would take the edge off my horse fever but the truth is I infected Robert and he’s just as horse crazy as I am now. To boot, it’s been my delight to watch Robert learn how to interact with horses. His riding improves each time he sits on Resero. We’ll make a horseman out of him yet!
Here’s my current reading list for you to consider:
Lastly, in case you missed it, I did a podcast with Ed at Mountain & Prairie a couple of weeks ago. You can listen to it HERE. Ed also chatted with Robert over the weekend so if you’ve ever wanted to hear more from and about that man of mine, you can listen to Robert’s podcast interview HERE. I also highly recommend Ed’s new bookclub which is rooted in books about the West — Ed reads a lot and his recommendations are always great. This bookclub just makes sense!
I hope you’re all well.
XX
:::Post Scriptus:::
I’m working on printing some 8×10 photos for the shop this week…do any of you have requests? I can’t guarantee I’ll print your requests because I’m batch printing but I’ll consider them. Email me a screen shot of your faves if you have a moment and are interested in art for your walls!
A glorious thing to behold after a week of fog and drizzle. We shook our feathers. We fluffed our fur. We crunched our way through a frosty hayfield and watched the starling glimmer in the wind.
A great fog settled over the farm this morning and as I walked around in it and tended our critters I was reminded of this poem:
I bought a horse in July. It is the fulfillment of a lifelong dream. I grew up riding horses and ride every chance I get but I have never truly had a horse of my very own. Resero will arrive at the farm with much pomp and circumstance in the first week of October — which is to say, my sister and her boyfriend are hauling him to Idaho for me and I am going to do a little dance when they pull through the gate, around the corner where the old apple trees stand and come down the final stretch of the driveway to our house.
